


The Great Pretender

by lolahardy



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1950s, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 25,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27665189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolahardy/pseuds/lolahardy
Summary: Set in 1950's Gotham, John Blake and Bane are police officers and partners. John makes a confession to him one night that spirals way beyond anything John ever imagined.
Relationships: Bane (DCU)/John Blake
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Period Homophobia: John Blake and Bane are 50s beat cops in Gotham. Brothers more than anything. Blake is deep in the closet and confesses he's attracted to men late one night when he's drinking with Bane. Bane's reaction is full of typical homophobia of the era. He says he won't tell Blake's gross secret out of respect but to never discuss it again. Oh and they're not buddies any more. The next day, Bane is very uncomfortable in the showers when Blake comes in.

It was the 1950’s in Gotham. 

John Blake had been a cop in the Gotham Police Department for just a few months before he was assigned a partner. He was a bit frustrated with the idea at first, but after getting to know his new partner, Bane, he began to warm to the idea. 

Bane always had his back, the both of them held the same gripes about the job, the hours, the pay, the criminals they often collared. While they walked the beat, they knew that they were there for each other, no matter the situation in busting up drunken brawls or serious robberies. 

It wasn’t long before John began to worry. For years he had held in a dark secret, one that threatened to undo him in every way and he had done everything in his power to keep it in. He was gay and it was something he had struggled with his entire life. As an adult, it made things all the worse and he worried his being a single man would draw attention to him, so he joined the police as a cover. What kind of man would he be if he left a young lady a widow due to his career? It kept the questions at bay and it gave him protection. But he was always worried it would come out in some way or form, if he slipped up or said something to the wrong person. He hid any kind of literature he had from famous out writers in case he ever had company and he kept his opinions to himself while he heard his fellow officers discuss the sickness of “those deviants.” John never considered himself a deviant, he had never even so much as looked at another man out of fear of being caught and called out. But it was a stigma that he felt was burned into his flesh and only the straight lacing and buttoned up police uniform he wore every day would hide. 

Being around Bane was the only comfort that John had ever known. Bane was kind to him, thoughtful and welcoming. He felt a closeness to him that John had never felt before and he would do anything to keep it that way. So when his feelings began to change, John was terrified because not only did he not want to have those feelings about his partner, about his friend, about his brother, he was terrified that he would say something wrong one day or Bane would catch on.

For another couple of years, Bane and John were partners and in that time, John had kept his secret. However, as time went on, he started to feel a bit guilty for hiding something like that from Bane when Bane had shared so much with him. Deeply personal things that they shared over beers, fears and concerns that came out when a bit too much alcohol was consumed. John was always cautious in that time, but he began to feel at ease with Bane. He trusted him, knew he would never let anything happen to him.

After a hard night one evening, Bane hung up his uniform in his locker as he asked John,

“Feel like grabbin a drink?”

“Sure. It’s been a long shift.”

Bane agreed.

The two went to a local bar where they did what they always did and talked. They ordered beers and sat back at their usual table and talked about the grueling shift they just went through. It had been long but John always liked the work. He enjoyed doing his job and more importantly, he enjoyed his time with Bane. He never said it though, too afraid it would come off wrong.

“You’re so uptight! Full of gringles as always!”

John laughed. The both of them wore slacks and casual jackets but Bane had removed his, showing off his impressive size. John had always known Bane’s uniform often hid him but in casual clothing, the sleeve of his shirt was binding around the girth of his arm. John covered by drinking from his mug, his own jacket still on. He was feeling more relaxed that usual but Bane always knew how to tease him.

“Alright, alright.”

He laughed as he removed his jacket and hung it in the back of his chair before he picked up his beer again.

“All this time I’ve know you, you’ve never relaxed. What, you nervous around me still?”

John chuckled a little and looked down.

“Never.”

“Then what is it?”

“Nah, nothing.”

“It’s gotta be something.”

“What are you, writing a book?”

Bane laughed, not taking offense to John. 

Later that night, determined to prove to Bane that he could relax, he felt himself getting a little tipsy. He felt calm and warm but he still felt safe around his partner. Bane was a good man, the both of them talking again about something…John couldn’t remember. He instead, sat up straight and sighed and Bane stopped talking as he waited to see what John would do. Instead, John took another drink.

“Aw, I thought you were going to say something!”

“What would I say?”

“Something I’m sure. You’re so buttoned up.”

John shook his head.

“You always think I’m holding back.”

“I know you are. Come on John, we’ve been friends and partners for years. Yet you never have me over, you always take holiday shifts, you don’t mention your family, your friends, even if you got a special lady.”

“No…no special lady.”

Bane waited for John to explain. With the beers loosening his tongue, clouding his judgment and making him truly feel comfortable with Bane, he said his secret, wanting so much to tell someone after carrying it on his own for so long.

“I’m…I’m…gay.” He said it softly, but all the same, the release felt great.

For a moment.

When he realized what he had said, for a split second, he prayed that Bane didn’t hear it. Looking up at his friend’s face, he realized he had heard him loud and clear. The amusement and relaxed nature in Bane’s face disappeared and John immediately tried back pedaling,

“I didn’t mean it. I-I was joking.”

“No you weren’t.”

“I was! I’m not…I’m not like that!”

“You’re one of them. A sickie.”

“I’m not, I’m normal!”

Bane looked around now, ashamed of being seen with John. He began to get to his feet as he grabbed his coat and John said,

“Please…please don’t tell anyone.”

He felt immediately sober. He was also afraid and now worried that Bane had, had the reaction that John had feared the most. When Bane finished putting on his jacket, he looked at John and said,

“I won’t tell anyone. It’s your disgusting secret to keep and I don’t want anything to do with it. I don’t want anything to do with you either. I’m putting in for a new partner tomorrow.”

Bane left without another word and John felt heartbroken, as if his relationship was over because in a way, it was.

The next day, John was trembling as he walked into the precinct. Every corner he rounded, he swore he would get a punch to the face or to the stomach. But when he made it all the way to the locker room, he felt relief that nothing had happened. He hadn’t seen Bane yet and he was sure he would hear of his new partner soon enough. He thought about it as he began to change into his uniform. 

As he started buttoning up his coat, he saw Bane coming in, fresh from the showers. He saw him stop in his tracks and hesitate before coming any closer, the grip on his towel tightening up as he saw John near their lockers. They said nothing to each other for a moment, but shame scorched John’s face and he looked away, going back to his buttons. Bane still didn’t approach his locker and still didn’t say a word so John finished quickly, grabbing his hat before closing his locker door and turning to leave. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia continuation? I’m not the same anon, but I really liked it and would like to read more! Maybe continuing with Bane getting a new partner and John making mistakes at work because he’s terrified and mortified. Maybe John gets a new partner, too, and his partner is one of the most aggressively homophobic people he’s ever met. Hearing such hate so often, so passionately aggressive— especially with what happened with Bane– John is in a dark place.

As promised, Bane got himself another partner and John was left out in the cold. He realized very early on that Bane wouldn’t even look at him anymore, never even spoke to him, it was as if their past years of friendship and partnership meant nothing. It devastated John more than he ever thought possible. 

He went on by himself for a while, the commissioner not needing to assign him to anyone yet and John found it difficult to work beats on his own. Not that he couldn’t handle the work, it was because he felt alone. He missed Bane’s company. He missed his friend. He regretted ever saying anything because he felt he undid everything between them and he could never get it back. 

After a few months, John was called into the commissioner’s office to meet his new partner.

“Blake, this is Bollock. Bollock, John Blake your new partner.”

“Sheesh, how fresh out of the womb are you hiring them commissioner? He’s still wet behind the ears.”

“He’s been with the force for some years Bollock. Now take your assignments and scram.”

John took the handed folded and followed out behind Bollock.

Bollock was the typical, angry brute of a man. Boorish, disgusting and violent. It scared John to see the man work, seeing how he roughed up suspects, how he threatened them and had no issues literally shaking them while handcuffed. He ate like it was being taken away from him, taking huge, generous bites out of his food and chomping away with his mouth wide open. He spilled and stained everything, leaving crumbs and rings of coffee everywhere. They never talked, Bollock often trying to sleep if they were driving somewhere or busy looking out for someone to hassle. It only made John miss Bane more. 

However, out of all the terrible and disgusting things Bollock did, John learned of his rampant homophobia early on. 

“Oh look at that little pansy.”

They were doing their shift, John driving because Bollock liked to either sleep or eat. He was about to make a turn when Bollock pointed out a nicely dressed young man, hair neatly combed. He didn’t look any different from any other young man on the street, but Bollock still picked him out.

“We should arrest him.”

“He’s not doing anything.”

Bollock sneered as he looked back at John.

“You don’t think being a limp wristed nancy boy is enough?”

John resisted the urge to flinch. While he had never been called those words himself, he heard them enough, dreaded when they were being thrown around and felt absolute fear. But he choked back his fear and made the turn, driving away from the innocent young man. Bollock scoffed and said,

“You’re a little easy on the fairy back there.”

“Whatever, I’m not going to do your paperwork because you feel like picking on a fairy.”

He was relieved when that was the end of the conversation and Bollock leaned back in his seat and tilted his cap down over his eyes to sleep. 

Bollock’s presence began to make John nervous. He feared what would happen to him if he was found out, what Bollock would do, what he would say if he knew John’s secret. It made John fearful and overly cautious and he never said a single word that he didn’t overthink first. 

As the months being Bollock’s partner went on, John found himself making mistakes, sloppy, rookie mistakes that cost him being reprimanded. He was spoken to by the commissioner, yelled at by Bollock and he began feeling as if he couldn’t breathe anytime he was making his way to the station. He was getting careless in his work and he couldn’t believe how much he was being written up for it. His jacket was becoming full of complaints and mistakes and write up’s, none of which he ever had before. His career was slowly declining. 

“Come in Blake.”

John held his hat against his chest as he entered Commissioner Gordon’s office. He had just gotten off his shift and he hadn’t even changed yet, but he wanted to make sure he got a chance to see the commissioner before it was too late.

“What is it?”

John took a breath and said,

“I’d like to…take some time off.”

“It’s about time. You got so many days saved up.”

“Uh…I’d like to…start tomorrow?”

Commissioner Gordon looked up from a file then and met John’s eyes.

“You alright, son?”

“Yeah…just…I’ve been feeling worn down lately. Need some time to myself.”

“I’ve noticed you’ve been lots of mistakes on your beats lately. Partnership with Bollock not working out?”

“Why do you ask, sir?”

“I’ve noticed the change in your work lately is all. I guess you really do need this time off.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Alright then, I’ll see you in a week.”

John thanked him and then left his office. He headed to the locker room to change, feeling himself trembling, right on the edge of collapsing. He knew he had to get out of there. He was glad to hear Bollock loudly talking with someone in the bullpen, so he didn’t have to worry about seeing him anymore. He knew Bane had switched to day since John had the nights so he wouldn’t see him either. It let John change out of his uniform in peace. As he finished up, he heard someone coming in, but he didn’t dare look up or towards the door, he just settled his hat inside his locker and closed it before picking up his bag and left for home. 

In the darkness of his living room, alone as he had always been, John drank. It was all the comfort he could give himself, all he could do from just ending it all. The thought had crossed his mind as he sat there in the dark holding a bottle of gin. What else did have to live for? He had nothing now; a career spiraling away from him, no family, no friends…not even a partner he could count on. 

What was left for me? He thought to himself.

“…yes I’m the great pretender. 

Pretending that I’m doing well. 

My need is such I pretend too well. 

I’m lonely but no one can tell…” The Platters sang throughout John’s apartment. 

He swallowed another mouthful of gin, the lyrics right on the nose and John slowly stood up from his couch as he wobbled over to his window and looked out into Gotham’s dark skyline.

“Oh-oh, yes I’m the great pretender. Adrift in a world of my own

I’ve played the game but to my real shame

You’ve left me to grieve all alone.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: 50s homophobia au continuation, please? John falls into a very suicidal ideation, either during his leave or when he’s back. Maybe he does really dangerous things without consideration of the risks or maybe he ends up on a ledge looking down thinking of jumping? Either way, some kind of confrontation with Bane happens, please! ♡♡

“Damnit Blake are you drunk?! Pay attention!”

Blake heard Bollock yell at him and yes, he was technically drunk still. He had started drinking that morning so he would feel alright by the time he started his shift, but he lost track of time and he was still mostly drunk by the time he went into work that evening. He still had to drive but he was tired and he nearly nodded off as he drove. It wasn’t until he drifted off in the road that Bollock screamed at him that he snapped awake and corrected his driving.

“Jesus Christ! Pay attention!”

“Sorry, I’m exhausted.”

“You smell like hooch, I can smell ya from here!” 

He rolled down the window to get some fresh air and Blake said nothing, trying to sit himself up better to remain awake. 

Since he returned from his time off, Blake hadn’t felt right. He couldn’t get through his shift anymore without numbing himself first. He started to care less and less about his job, already convinced that all his write up’s and mistakes buried all the good he had done earlier. His partner hated him anyway and he was likely to walk away and let some crazy bastard stab John in the back before he covered him. He was constantly terrified of having his true self be discovered and he was so tired…so tired. Nothing had gone right since he confessed to Bane and that one good thing he had been pulled away and undid everything. John felt as if he couldn’t do this for much longer. 

He thought of resigning. He thought of it often through his drunken hazes and he often thought of just climbing to Gotham’s highest tower and just jumping. The more he thought of it, the better he began to plan it out, until the only thing he kept thinking of was when. 

It was the holiday season by the time John deteriorated to the point where he was being called into Commissioner Gordon’s office on a weekly basis. Bollock couldn’t work with him anymore. He complain that John was too careless and often stank of alcohol and he couldn’t be relied on, which John hated because if anyone was unreliable, it was Bollock. So Bollock was reassigned to another partner and John was left to work alone, but the complaints kept coming in. 

“You’re on leave Blake! Get your shit together and maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a job to come back to! Get out of my sight!”

John said nothing, took his tongue lashing and left. He went to his locker and rather than go through his usual routine, he stopped for a moment, thinking this was it. He had hit bottom, constantly drunk, his career all but gone by now. No one would work with him anymore and while his sexuality was never called into question, too many complaints, rumors of his carelessness and his drunken behavior flooded through the precinct. He was too reckless and sloppy. Any sympathy that Commissioner Gordon may have had for him was gone now, too fed up with John’s behavior. 

He really had nothing left now. 

John changed out of his uniform and rather than hang it with the care he once felt for it, he threw it in his locker, leaving it crumbled at the bottom, tossing his hat inside and leaving after he changed into his own clothes. He hadn’t even bothered to close the door of his locker, convinced he would never come back anyway. 

He walked his usual path home, stopping only to buy another bottle of gin before he made a detour to Gotham’s observatory building. It boasted the best view in the city and it was close by so John went there. He drank, crumbling the brown paper sack around the bottle as he leaned against the elevator, feeling no fear or worries, just relief knowing the end was coming. It was going to be peaceful for him, fast too. And no one would mourn him either. That made him feel a little bad, but what would it matter anyway…another nameless face in Gotham’s graveyard would make no difference. 

He went to the observatory deck and felt the chill of the wind, the low howl since it wasn’t too windy that evening and John continued to drink. He watched the lights of the buildings twinkling and sparkling until they became blurry and out of focus. He had lost track of how long he had been there, his mind muddled from the gin but he knew as the lost drop passed his lip that it was time. He sighed, setting the empty bottle still covered by the brown paper bag beside him and he stood up. He was unsteady on his feet so he paused before he took a step and then shakily took another one.

“I’m…the great…pretender…pretending…that I’m…doing well…”

He mumbled to himself, approaching the ledge and he looked down. Nothing looked right through his eyes anymore. It was blurry and didn’t look as far. Would this kill him? Maybe he should have picked another building. He blinked a few times, trying to focus and in the end, he decided to that he’d try anyway and slowly began climbing the ledge. 

Before he even stood up, he heard,

“John? John, come down from there.”

Johnb started to turn and looked over his shoulder, wondering who would be calling his name. Who would even know he was there? Who would even care? So he stopped himself and turned back to what he was doing, ready to stand up when he felt someone grab his wrist. When he turned, he saw it was Bane. 

“B..ane?”

“Yeah, yeah it’s me. What are you doing up here? Come down and talk to me.”

“No…no you don’t want to talk to me. You haven’t talked to me in years…”

Drunk and heartbroken, he had no problem letting his true feeling show. He had nothing to hide anymore, nothing left. Tears flowed freely down his face as he attempted to pull his hand back but he couldn’t.

“I know, I know I haven’t and that was lousy of me. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“But you did. You said…I was a deviant…”

“You’re not a deviant.”

“You said it.”

“I know, I was wrong. Please come down.”

“No. I have nothing left. N-nothing…”

“Don’t talk like that.”

“Let me go. I wanna go…”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“You don’t care. You haven’t cared about me in years…”

“John…please come down.”

John wanted to have Bane let go of him. He wanted to jump. He just wanted everything to stop. 

“Let go. Please…please…I want to go.”

“No. Not until you’re right here on this rooftop with me, not on the ledge. We need to talk.”

John let out a sob. His entire body was racked with pain and he got to his feet on the ledge. Bane wouldn’t let him go, his grip got tighter as he said,

“John, please.”

“Let me go…just let me go.” 

He gave a few weak tugs, wanting Bane to let his wrist go but he wouldn’t. In fact, Bane pulled him closer, grabbing him and taking him off the ledge and setting him down on the rooftop. John had nothing left and it was as if Bane knew because a moment later, he collapsed. 

When John woke up again, he saw he was still under the sky. It was cold now though still not windy and he thought he fell from the observatory. It wasn’t until he started to realize he felt awful and dizzy even though he was on his back that he realized he was still on the roof.

He sat up slowly, noticing his head had been cushioned by a jacket and he looked around for a moment, seeing Bane sitting beside him. It was Bane’s jacket and he sat beside him in just his shirt and slacks.

“You still drunk?”

John felt woozy still and intoxicated so he nodded.

“Yeah. Why didn’t you let me go?”

“I couldn’t. We have to talk. But not until you’re sober.”

John blinked a few times and he picked up Bane’s jacket, returning it to him and Bane took it. 

“It might be a while…you know…until I’m sober.”

“I’m not in a rush. But let me know when you’re ready to move. I’ll take you back to your place.”

John nodded and leaned back against the ledge he was once standing on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia continuation? What does Bane have to say? How does it play out?

Bane was patient in waiting for John to sober up enough so he could get on his feet and walk him down. He made sure that John was steady enough on his feet and once they finally reached the ground, he asked where he lived so they could head in that direction. 

It took a lot longer than it should have, but eventually, they made it back to John’s apartment and Bane sighed in relief when he saw John’s keys thrown carelessly in front of his door, sure that he wasn’t going to return. Bane picked up the keys and unlocked the door, allowing John to go in first. 

John still wasn’t in his proper state of mind, still mostly drunk and now tired and chilled from the air so he wobbled himself over to his couch and threw himself down, grasping the pillows there and falling asleep almost immediately. 

When John woke up, he wasn’t even sure how much time had passed. He felt awful, the hangover feeling becoming part of his morning routine and he sat up slowly, rubbing at his head. It came back to him in parts, realizing he meant to kill himself last night but Bane stopped him. 

He heard movement in his kitchen and he stood up, walking to it as he saw Bane there, preparing breakfast.

“Hey, you up for food?”

“I have food?”

John’s voice was dry and each word was rasped out. Bane immediately turned and handed him a glass of water, which John downed instantly. 

“I picked some things up. You had nothing here but some empty bottles and some spoiled milk.”

John looked down, ashamed of what he had become. He stared at the empty glass in his hands for a moment before Bane asked him again,

“Hungry?”

“Yeah.”

John sat down and Bane served them up some pancakes and coffee and John slowly picked at the food. It was quiet for a moment and a couple of bites later, he asked,

“Why did you save me last night?”

“I couldn’t let you jump.”

“How’d you even know where I was?”

“You mentioned the observatory to me a couple of times before. You always said you liked it up there. When I saw you leave the other night after your shift…I knew something was wrong. So when I was able to, I went to catch up to you, hoping it wasn’t too late. Luckily, it wasn’t.”

“Why do you care? You…we haven’t talked in ages. You didn’t want to be my partner anymore. Not even my friend. What’s it to you what I do with myself?”

Bane stopped eating and set his fork down. 

“I can’t apologize enough for abandoning you. You opened up to me and I turned on you. I should have never done that.”

“But you did.”

“And I’m gonna have to live with that. And I would have never been able to live with myself if you had actually jumped.”

“So…you just saved me to relieve your guilt?”

“No, nothing like that. I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while. I just couldn’t gather the stones to do it. I’ve seen how you went down hill. Bollock couldn’t stop talking about what a fuck up you were and how he has to do everything because you’re too scared and then lately…drunk.”

John felt embarrassed, heat filling his face and he couldn’t stand Bane looking at him.

“That’s not the John Blake I know. Something had to be wrong.”

“I have nothing left. All my life I worked hard to keep myself on the right path. I struggled to make friends, be a good cop…and then it all went to pot.”

“What happened, John? Why did it get so bad?”

“You didn’t want to be my partner anymore. You wouldn’t even look at me…like I disgusted you. Bollock was horrible to me. And he scared me…the way he talked about-”

He stopped himself, unable to say any of the horrible words Bollock threw around that John had to pick up and use to keep the guise up. 

“The way he talked…he would never…anyway. It made me feel lonelier than I ever imagined. So I took some time to myself and all it did was give me an excuse to drink and it just went from there. Bollock wouldn’t even work with me, someone else that couldn’t tolerate being around me only he didn’t know…he didn’t know I was…like that.”

“John, I’m sorry.”

John shook his head, pushing his plate away and covering his face. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore. You ruined my only plan.”

“You offing yourself isn’t a plan.”

“It was mine. What else do I have?”

“You have me.”

John dropped his hands and looked at Bane again. He had never blamed Bane for not wanting to be around him anymore. It was his own disgusting secret, that he thought he could share. He never blamed him for reacting the way he did. It had been nearly two years since that night and now he was sitting at a table with Bane. 

“I don’t have you. I’m quitting the force. I can’t go back there again anyway.”

“Then if I can’t be your partner, I’ll be your friend.”

John sighed, so tired of having hope dangled in front of him. 

“You don’t want to be friends with someone like me.”

“If I didn’t, would I have stopped you from jumping last night? Would have I waited until you felt better enough to walk you home? Would I have waited all goddamn night to have this talk with you?”

John slumped back in his chair, tired and still far too hungover to do this any longer. He pushed away the rest of his breakfast as he stood up and went to his refrigerator.

“I need a drink.”

“John…”

Bane stood up and stopped him, slamming the fridge door shut. John sighed, feeling weakened again as he looked down.

“Don’t do this to me. You left me before…don’t…”

“I want to make amends. I’m apologizing, I’ll keep apologizing to you for the rest of my life if need be. I’ll ask Gordon to make us partners again, it can be like before.”

“It can never be like before because you know who I really am now.”

“And I still want to be your friend, what does that say?”

John sat back down feeling exhausted all over again. Bane moved from the refrigerator door and pulled a chair up closer to John before he sat down. 

“I’ll be here for you John. And I won’t ever leave you again.”

John listened and he looked into Bane’s eyes, always sincere and honest and for the first time in almost two years, John smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Hi there! I just thought of something for the Bane/Blake 50s homophobia au in correspondence to my earlier message. I would love to hear it from Bane’s point of view if possible! ♡♡♡

Bane had always thought of himself as someone with good intuition. He was good at reading people and situations. It’s what he thought would make him a great part of Gotham’s force. He thought he knew John pretty well too. They had been partners for years and he never saw a cop as good as he was. John was a by the book kind of guy, he abides by every rule and Bane appreciated it. Now and then however, he was struck by the notion that he didn’t really know his partner too well, outside of police work. 

John never talked about himself. He never mentioned any family until Bane asked and it was only then that John said he was an orphan. It made sense as to why he worked holidays and long hours; he had nothing to go home to. Bane felt as if it was almost kismet since he too lacked his family and never had any problems working the same hours, the same holidays. John never talked about seeing anyone either, no one caught his eye, no one attracted him, he never said a peep about anyone. Bane asked of course, but John always shrugged it off, saying his job took up a lot of his time and he liked it that way, that way no one was sore with him for never being around. 

It wasn’t until that fateful night that John confessed something so ground shaking that Bane didn’t recover for a while. He acted all on his anger, on his frustration. He asked Gordon for a change in partners, he changed from night shifts to day ones and he avoided John for at least a month. When he was finally able to cool down some, he began to realize why he was so angry with John. It wasn’t his homosexuality, Bane personally, never thought anything was wrong with them, he was angry because he had been left out in the dark.

He considered John to be not just his partner, but his friend. Bane had often spilled his guts to him on several occasions, he had confided in him, trusted him not only with his life but also with his own secrets. And yet John never said a word. It was the feeling of betrayal that spurred Bane to get away from him, angry and hurt. 

It was only a handful of months later that Bane heard the rumor mill start to turn about John. He was assigned a new partner, but they weren’t getting along at all. Bollock was often the first one yelling about him, complaining about his quiet, withdrawn partner not at all willing to bend the rules, look the other way, not take a firmer hand. He called him weak and spineless and he was too young to be on the force. Then word got around that John was drunk a lot. 

When the drunk rumors started, Bane began to feel guilty. But if he had been really honest with himself, he had felt guilty ages ago. He avoided seeing John and the few times he did see him, he saw him defeated and worn out. He looked miserable and uncomfortable constantly and now the drunk rumors began. Of course, the source of them had been Bollock, now saying that his partner always stank of alcohol, that he was being careless and often nodding off on the job. Bane knew they weren’t rumors. When he’d go to the locker room to change out of his uniform, he’d see John looking disheveled and out of it at his locker, as if he was trying to hold himself together and not at all succeeding. 

The guilt grew and grew and he knew he made a mistake. At first, Bane thought well the mistake had been made, it would be best to move on. But now he was seeing that the mistake wasn’t moving on, it was getting worse. Bane often wondered how he could approach his former partner and once friend, he wondered if John would even hear him out anymore. Then the day he gathered up the nerve to talk to him, he found out John had gone on leave for a while.

Work got in the way too, Bane had never forgotten that he had his own career to attend to and he couldn’t always focus on John. More time slipped by and for a while Bane hadn’t even see Bane and the only rumors were the same ones that cycled through constantly. 

One night, Bane went to the locker room to leave when he saw John throwing his uniform inside. He knew something was wrong, John had always taken pride in his uniform, in taking care of it and when he just tossed it in carelessly, Bane was alert. When John left, Bane saw that his locker door was open, there was no care, no concern in his things. He knew he had to go after him. He knew John was supposed to start his shift, Bane only coming in that evening to talk to the commissioner about considering reassigning John to be his partner again. Instead, he now had to find out if he could postpone their meeting.

He wasted time doing that and then looking up where John lived because he didn’t even know that about his partner. He then headed there, hoping maybe he was home only to find out he wasn’t. He thought back to the little he did know about his partner and as he walked away from John’s building, he looked up to see the observatory building. He realized it was something on the way to John’s apartment and something he had mentioned before, in the better days so Bane gambled and headed to the top floor deck. 

He had to talk John off a ledge, seeing and hearing the desperation in his voice. Too much time had passed between them, too much woe and misery had built up inside John that it was now becoming too much for him to carry. He had never felt more relief in his life, then when he was able to get John off the ledge and finally get him home to sleep. 

Now there was nothing to stop them from talking and Bane apologized and apologized and he felt it would never be enough. John was heartbroken and hurt and the wound had festered into what Bane saw that morning. He couldn’t explain himself, feeling foolish for waiting that long so he asked John what had happened to get him where he was.

Loneliness. He was lonely and afraid and Bane’s betrayal was the final straw that broke him. 

Bane could only offer to make amends with him now and offer his friendship once more and he was relieved when John accepted, finally believing him and how sorry Bane truly was. 

“So where do we start? What can I do for you now?” Bane asked.

John only sighed, looking tired now, not unhappy or crushed. 

“I don’t know. I have a lot to deal with. I don’t have a job.”

“Maybe that wasn’t the place for you anyway.”

“Maybe not. It was a lot to hide all the time.”

“Whatever you need from me, I’ll help you.”

Bane reached over and touched John’s hand and he found himself being relieved when John didn’t shake him off or pull away. 

“You really mean it, huh?”

Bane nodded.

“Yeah. But I have to ask you for one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“No more secrets. I’ve never lied to you…I’d like the same thing in return.”

John looked surprised for a moment but then he looked down and nodded.

“Fair enough.”

When their eyes met, John smiled again as he said,

“Thank you.”

“This is only a start.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: I love your Bane/Blake 50s homophobia AU! It’s just so different and heartbreaking. Always excited to see another part. I do hope you’re in the mood to continue it, because I‘d really like to see Bane keeping his promise and being there for Blake, maybe even defending him and of course Blake deserves a little happiness too

Once John felt well enough, Bane made good on his promise to be there for him. While he hadn’t officially quit the force, John knew he couldn’t do it anymore. It was far too toxic an environment and he wasn’t even sure if he could get reassigned to be Bane’s partner again. So he had to quit and Bane went with him to help him collect his things and basically have his back should he need it, just like before.

They both walked into the precinct and John was terrified. He had tarnished his reputation so badly and now that he was sober, he could feel the tension in the air, all eyes on him and the constant hum of conversation and telephone calls stopped for just a second before everything resumed. It was enough for John to want to turn and run but Bane touched his shoulder, encouraging him to go on. 

They got to Commissioner Gordon’s office without any trouble and Bane waited outside for him as John went to turn in his resignation. 

“I want to say I’m not surprised but…I am. You’re sure you want to do this, son?”

John nodded, looking down a bit.

“I’m not made for this. I know that now.”

“You’ve been going through some hard times but-”

“I can’t go on. It’s too hard for me. Thank you for the opportunity and it’s been an honor working with you.”

Gordon said nothing else but extended his hand out to John, which John took and then left. There was already the feeling of relief knowing he wouldn’t have to do this anymore, knowing he wouldn’t feel that overwhelming anxiety when he approached the building. He even managed to get to his locker and empty it out, Bane carrying his box for him as John packed everything away. He felt the moment should have been harder, sadder, but the emptier his locker got, the better he felt. Bane noticed and smiled as he said,

“You look content.”

“I am. I know I’ll miss working with you but that’s about it. There’s nothing else about this job I’ll miss.”

Bane couldn’t relate but he understood and he nodded. 

Once John was finished, he held his uniform, the last bit of his former life he was ready to turn in when he heard,

“Hey Blake, you sober today?”

There was a chorus of laughter coming from the bullpen and John stood for a moment, turning to see Bollock. There were already other officers forming around him, wanting to see John’s reaction. 

“Yeah…have a good shift.” 

He turned and was ready to leave it at that when Bollock continued.

“Well there’s a surprise!”

There was more laughter and John had nothing left to say, so Bane did.

“Bollock, aren’t you supposed to start your own shift?”

“What’s it to you huh? You writin a book?”

“I’m just saying that if you got enough to time to be sitting around and poking fun at John then you probably finished up all your paperwork and are getting ready to head out. Oh that’s right, you just make your partner do all the work so you can catch some shut eye.”

Bollock glared at Bane and the crowd once on Bollock’s side oo-ed at him, now snickering because everyone knew Bollock’s habits, Bane was just the first to call him out on them. 

“You don’t kn-”

“Everyone knows. You’re a slob and a lazy cop yet you got all the stones in the world to pick on someone like you’re better than them. Why don’t you direct your energy towards your actual job as oppose to what your former partner is doing?”

There were more snickers and straight out laughter and Bane encouraged John to keep going. 

They both sat down in a diner to grab some lunch, John laughing to himself as he shook his head.

“I can’t believe you said that to him.”

“I’m not afraid of Bollock. He’s all talk and no action.”

John smiled at him.

“You’re a lot braver than I ever was.”

“You’re just as brave, you just don’t know it yet.”

“I haven’t felt brave in a long time.”

“You’ll feel it again. And whatever you decide to do, I got your six, just like always.”

John smiled a little, feeling grateful. Ever since Bane saved him that night, he had been there to help him out of his misery, to remind him he had plenty to live for, to help him through all the little things as he started getting back on his feet. He had even taken some time off work to help John get his act back in order. He was the one that offered to accompany John to collect his things at the precinct and John had been eternally grateful for it. 

Once the waitress came by and left the cups of coffee they ordered first, John took a deep breath and looked down at his cup.

“I don’t know what to do now.”

“You’ll think of something.”

“What if I don’t?” 

He looked up at Bane then, wondering what he could possibly say.

“Then we’ll sit down and think of something together.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia — John is cautious around Bane, still. He’s worried he’ll abandon him again, but he wants things to go back to the way they were more than anything. John is terrified about any and all attraction he has for Bane, but those ‘more than friend’ feelings just won’t go away – they never really did

Once, John moved slowly through life. He was cautious and nervous, always afraid and worried. But now, now that he realized he could change, he immediately did and he did it as soon as he could. 

He was still a young man and as much as he had sheltered himself in life, he felt twice his age. He decided to make changes in himself and he decided that he would no longer be afraid. 

After quitting the police force, he got a job as a clerk and at night, he started to live. He went to bars and nightclubs, not seeking out any company but just living and experiencing all the things he had been afraid of before. He listened to poetry, went to plays, watched shows and began to explore all the feelings he had pushed away and hidden. 

He felt better as the days went on. He wondered why he was ever so afraid of living before but he got his answer any time he saw Bane.

Their friendship had slowly recovered as well. Any time Bane had time off, when his shifts ended early, he sought out John for dinner or drinks and they would catch up on their days. Bane would fill him on what was going on in the station, with their former coworkers, the beat they both once worked and John listened with just a little envy. His own job was far more routine with very little changes throughout his day. He didn’t really talk to his coworkers too much, just enough to say hi or have a quick chat by the water cooler but he wouldn’t consider anyone a friend. He considered Bane his friend, his only friend. 

“It’s not the same without you.” Bane said one evening.

They were having dinner and while John felt a lot better, he was also, still deeply afraid of losing Bane again. He realized that as he healed and recovered from his pain, his feelings for Bane were growing. He had always admired him as an officer, respectable, brave and loyal. He admired him as a friend, kind, thoughtful and caring. But now John understood that he also admired him as a man. He was handsome, broad and strong. His eyes striking, his smile mesmerizing and John knew that he had to keep these feelings and thoughts to himself. Nothing would ever come of it and if he said anything, he would lose Bane again. He would rather cut out of his own tongue than risk that again.

“I have to admit, a nine to five was a huge shift change for me, but it’s not bad. I can have a routine now.” John answered.

Bane laughed a bit.

“A lot more relaxing than chasing down burglars and bank robbers?”

“A lot more.”

They shared a laugh.

“You look a lot different now. Relaxed. Happy too.”

“I have you to thank for that. Thank you for keeping your word in helping me. You’ve been my rock these past few months.”

“Hey, I said I’d be there for you and I was. I always will be.”

John raised his glass and Bane did the same. They shared a clink before returning to their meal. John stole looks at Bane, remembering all he had done for him and how much Bane had really cared about him. It made John both deliriously happy and completely miserable.

After dinner, they began to walk, the city night warm and comfortable. They talked about their upcoming days of work and how John was still happy he had weekends off. Bane sighed in envy as he said,

“I’d love to have steady days off.”

“You can if you want.”

Bane laughed.

“Maybe. I don’t know. I think I fit more in the police line of work rather than a clerk. Look at me, do I look as if I’m built to sit behind a desk and push paper?”

“Oh, so I am.”

“You look far more normal than I do.”

John shook his head and laughed. 

Once they reached John’s building, he invited Bane up. He no longer had anything to hide from him, nothing to worry about anymore and he was happy when Bane accepted. In his apartment, John offered him a drink and they sat down to continue talking. 

“I have tickets to a show this weekend, think you could come with me?”

“What kind of show?”

“A play in downtown Gotham.”

He paused and realized Bane wouldn’t be into it, so he began to backtrack a little and laughed a little.

“Nevermind, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“What? Why?”

“I just…know that’s not really your thing.”

Bane shrugged. 

“I could like something new. I’ve never been to a play.”

“Oh…well the offer still stands if you’re interested.”

“I am. I’d love to go with you.”

John smiled.

Later on, when Bane went home, John sighed deeply, as if letting go of the tension he was carrying. He knew he cared a great deal for his friend, more than he should. He knew now that a part of his misery was more than the fact that Bane had turned his back on him, it was that John had been in love with him and Bane wanted nothing to do with him. But they were better now, almost like it was before only now Bane knew his secret and wasn’t repulsed by him, didn’t pull away from him. And still he carried all those feelings. He knew he had to get past them, he had to move on.

He just didn’t know how. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia - I've been wondering: what happens when they go see the play together? How does Bane react to being out of his comfort zone since he's never been to a play before? He's probably glad that John's there. And John not feeling out of place for once but like he belongs in the crowd. Bane can see that and can't help himself but admire John a little.

Bane wasn’t sure what to do with himself. 

He and John promised to go to a play, though Bane had not asked any further questions about it or even asked what play it was and now he found himself a bit out of his element. The night they were planning to meet up, Bane sat in a cab, looking out the window, wondering what he had agreed to. 

When the cab stopped, Bane paid his fare and stepped out, almost relieved to see John right away. He saw him dressed nicely, better than he had ever seen him before and Bane felt under dressed then. But John didn’t mind, coming over to him as he said,

“Hey, glad you made it.”

“Of course, I said I’d be here.”

John smiled and handed him his ticket.

“So, what’s this play about?”

“It’s called _Death of a Salesman_. I heard wonderful things about it.”

“Oh…that sounds dark.”

John chuckled a bit.

“What were you expecting?”

“I wasn’t expecting anything…but I wasn’t expecting that.”

John only smiled.

As they went inside, John waved to someone, Bane didn’t notice who and he looked at John afterwards, awaiting an explanation, though he didn’t know why he expected one. 

“Oh, that was just a friend of mine.”

“Friend of yours?”

John nodded.

“Met at another play, we sat next to each other and enjoyed the show enough to talk about it afterwards.”

Bane nodded, accepting that explanation. 

He was pleased in seeing how John was so relaxed. He smiled a lot more and spoke far easier to Bane than he ever did in all his years on the force as his partner. It was as if he was seeing John for the first time and it surprised him a little. 

They found their seats and John looked excited. He held his playbill in his hands and once he sat down, he looked through it and then leaned over to Bane to show him some of the actors inside. 

“I hope this isn’t gassed up too much. It would be disappointing to sit through this and then find out it’s a dud.” 

Bane smiled a bit, looking at John and then at the stage. They were in the center of the auditorium, just a couple of rows back from the front of the stage. 

“I wish I knew more about it myself. I never even heard the reviews.”

John looked at him, about to say something else when the house lights began going down. The audience, once humming with chatter, silenced instantly and so did John and Bane. 

Bane watched the play, amazed by the story and the actors who embodied every word. Bane never appreciated the arts too much, he had never seen a play and never really wanted to so he felt awkward coming in; under dressed and ignorant, completely out of his element. He knew he didn’t fit in that scene, he knew it the moment he stepped out of that cab but John did. He saw John happy and easy going and for the first time, Bane understood how John felt when he was a police officer. 

Once the play was over, Bane saw something else in John. 

Excitement.

John thrummed with it, explaining how much he enjoyed it, the actors, the story and he smiled from ear to ear as he spoke. 

“It was amazing. I’m so glad we came. Oh…did you like it?”

He stopped himself, his excitement temporarily on pause as he looked at Bane.

“I loved it. It wasn’t at all what I thought it would be, it was great. It felt like watching a movie.”

John smiled again, looking relaxed as he sighed a little.

“I’m so glad you liked it. It would have been terrible if you were bored the whole time.”

“Not at all. I’m glad you invited me.”

John kept smiling at him.

“We can go to another play if you’d like. You know, another time.”

“Yeah, I’d love to. I’ll dress better next time.”

“You’re dressed fine.”

John waved it off and Bane laughed softly, glad that John had not found him embarrassing company. 

“Feel like having a drink? On me.” Asked Bane.

John looked surprised for a moment, but then smiled again and said,

“I’d love to.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia AU: Bane can’t stop thinking about Blake and clumsily starts to compliment him- he tries not to, but the words just tumble out of him. Blake thinks it’s all in his head.

They were having dinner together. It was starting to become a common thing, at least once a week. 

Bane would get the earliest shift he could so his nights could be free or he’d grab a day off and meet with John for dinner. They would talk and catch each other up and have a laugh or two and it was always pleasant. Bane noticed that John was a lot more lively. He glowed, he smiled, far more than he ever did when they were partners. He had things to talk about, something else he noticed that he rarely did when they were partners. He was animated and happy and it was a new John, one Bane had never met before but nonetheless, was happy to know.

“You’re so different.” Bane blurted out during one such evening.

It stopped John from talking right away, his body language became tense as he asked,

“What…like bad different?”

“Oh, no, no. Just different! From how you were before.”

He had meant it as a compliment but he saw it made John nervous. John only looked down and picked up his drink and a bit of the old John was back. Bane cleared his throat, feeling awkward.

“I guess I am a bit of a chatterbox tonight. Probably boring.”

“No. Not at all.”

Bane tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he felt had spoiled the moment.

While on doing his patrol the following night, Bane couldn’t stop thinking about John. He realized his former partner and his friend was on his mind a lot, his thoughts somehow circling back to how John was, how he was doing. He thought of their weekly dinners and how much he looked forward to them and he thought of making him dinner at his place, as a nice change of pace. He wasn’t sure why he thought of John so often, he never really had before. 

The next time the two friends saw each other, Bane couldn’t help but note how wonderfully John was dressed. They were going out for a movie and while Bane himself was dressed suitably, he was impressed by John’s attention to his own outfit.

“Snappy outfit.”

Again, something meant to be a compliment but it made John look down at himself, now self conscious. 

“Too much? I thought it was okay for the pictures…”

“No, it’s fine. I like it.”

John touched the front of his shirt and again looked down and Bane felt he had again made John feel bad. However after the movie, they went out for drinks and John was like his new self again. They talked about the movie and again enjoyed each other’s company and Bane did his best to keep his compliments to himself. 

Their weekly outings continued, John happy that he had Bane back in his life. He kept his personal life private, never telling Bane about anyone he may have met or spoke to, too afraid it would repulse him and make him leave again. But he happily told him of his job, of the outings he went to, plays he saw, books he read and over all, felt far more at ease with Bane than he ever had before. 

“I was thinking that you should come by next week for dinner. We always go out, I think we can both use a home cooked meal.”

“I was thinking of that myself.”

“So, next week? I’ll make us something great.”

“Didn’t know you could cook.”

“There’s lots you don’t know about me.” John said it teasingly. 

“I bet!”

Bane chuckled a bit and John smiled. He thought that Bane was a great friend to him, constantly making up to him for abandoning in his time of need. He had demonstrated how sorry he was and John had forgiven him already. But there were moments like now, when John wondered if he was reading too much into their friendship, into his off handed compliments, into his teasing tones. 

They continued having dinner and as they had their after dinner drinks, Bane suddenly said to him,

“You’re looking better lately.”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“You know…you’re all lit up inside.”

John laughed a little and brought his glass to his mouth, trying to hide the blush. He was sure he was reading too much into Bane’s words, reading too much into his actions. He was sure of it. He didn’t want to make any mistakes with his friend anymore, he didn’t want to get his own hopes up only to have them dashed before him. He had suffered losing Bane once before, he wasn’t all too secure he could weather another loss. Bane looked as if he had hurt him again and John smiled, trying to cover for his panicked thoughts.

“Thanks. I feel a lot better these days.”

“Got um…got someone new in your life?”

John let out a soft laugh as he shook his head.

“Hardly. I think things are just… a lot better than they were before.”

Bane smiled around the brim of his glass and when he finished, he set the glass down and said,

“I’m glad to hear that. Really I am.”

He glanced down at John’s hand and he seem to want to touch it, but he didn’t and John said nothing about it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia: After drinks Blake witnesses a young man getting harassed for supposedly being gay. He’s too scared to help him, so he walks home quickly but can’t find sleep since he feels like a coward but also struggles with his own self-hatred because of internalized homophobia. He gives up on sleep and visits Bane in the middle of the night feeling ashamed. Bane gets protective but also confused, wondering why he cares about Blake the way he does. - hope this isn’t too long!

It was one of John’s quiet nights. He had finished work and rather than go out with his fellow coworkers for cocktails, he opted to go to the little corner bar near his apartment. He had gone there more and more frequently, becoming a regular. It was a nice place, very few people with a great selection of hooch. John liked to go there after work sometimes and have a drink, read a book and then head home. It was a way to unwind. 

However, that night, he didn’t get to unwind. He had gotten his drink and had just cracked The Catcher in the Rye when he heard a couple of rowdies coming in. It happened now and then, it was a public place after all and a bar so it was inevitable. But John still hated when it happened. 

The group of three approached the other end of the bar where they ordered a round of beers and spoke loudly to each other. John ignored them and read his book and had his drink, minding his own business when he heard,

“Well, look here fellas. We got ourselves a fairy!”

Tense fear ripped through John and he tensed, expecting a fight and he slowly looked up, worried that he was going to be surrounded. Instead, he saw the insult was not at all being directed to him. In fact, he wasn’t even in the line of fire. The three men had found some other young man, sitting by himself having a glass of wine. He had not said a word except to the bar tender and then he had settled down to read the paper. Now he was being targeted for looking put together and fashionable as he sat alone. The young man cringed, looking helpless as he weakly answered he was just minding his business.

John’s initial instinct was to help him, but he was no longer a police officer. He was far from armed and even when he was a cop, he hadn’t been a cop that broke up fights or chased down criminals. He had never been a strong, tough cop and he was not even a strong, tough man. He found himself afraid instead, too afraid of being outed and harassed just like the young man who was now surrounded. Rather than draw attention to himself, John paid his tab and closed his book, quickly leaving the bar to head home.

The entire walk back, he kept looking over his shoulder, terrified one of those goons would come after him next, spot him next for being…one of them. He made it home without incident and after double locking his door, he tried to settle down for the night.

He went to bed after a little while, his mind too distracted to read. He kept thinking about that young man at the bar, left alone with no one to help him. John couldn’t remember the last time he felt like such a coward, so spineless and gutless. He should have helped, he should have said something, done something. But then what? Turn attention to himself? He felt his entire body shudder at the thought. He wouldn’t even know what to do…having to confront that part of himself. He accepted being gay, he knew he was. But he wasn’t ready for the whole world to know. To be called names, to be insulted and beaten up….no…he could never. He was too afraid to have that happen to him. Far too cowardly. 

After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, beating himself up for being so spineless, John gave up on sleep. He got himself back up and got dressed, deciding that he would walk for a bit. Once he was outside, he wandered, walking aimlessly, keeping his head down only glancing up now and then to make sure he didn’t fall head first into a subway entrance. By the time he felt tired enough to stop, he looked up and found himself at Bane’s apartment. He didn’t mean to go there…or maybe he did, he wasn’t even sure anymore. He only hoped he wouldn’t disturb him. 

At his door, he knocked and waited, wondering he would rouse him from sleep or if he was even home. Sometimes Bane had late shifts at the station. For a moment, he feared that Bane wasn’t alone. A couple of tense moments later, Bane answered. 

“John? Are you alright? Is everything okay?”

John felt relief hearing the concern in his voice and he let go of the breath he didn’t even know he was holding as he said,

“I’m fine. I didn’t-…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just shown up.”

“No, it’s alright, come in.”

He stepped aside and welcomed John inside. John recognized Bane was still in his street clothes, meaning he just got off his last shift. 

“You must be tired.” John started, feeling guilty.

“No, not at all. I was about to eat something, care to join me?”

John nodded.

At the dinner table, John began to feel more at ease and began to explain what happened that night. About the young man, how John fled from the scene, how awful he felt about it and how he was still so afraid of himself.

“I didn’t want to stand up for that guy…but I did at the same time. He was so scared…but so I was I. I didn’t want anyone to know I was…like that too. I’m so ashamed…of myself, of my actions. Of everything…I’m such a coward.”

John looked up from his food and saw Bane was listening, worry on his features, fear in his eyes. 

“You’re not a coward. You did the right thing.”

“Leaving that poor boy to defend himself against three? How is that the right thing? I was a cop once, Bane. I would have never done that before.”

“But you’re not anymore and it’s the right thing. If you did a stupid thing like that, you could have gotten hurt. You could have been killed! I’m glad you didn’t do anything!”

John was surprised and by his sudden outburst, Bane was too. They both said nothing for a moment and Bane looked confused, wondering what had gotten into him. John had his sandwich and looked down at his plate. 

“I didn’t mean to yell before. Sorry.” Bane suddenly said.

“It’s alright. You’re right to be concerned. You’re my friend, right?”

Bane nodded.

“Right.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia AU: Bane hangs out with Blake one night in a bar or something and a man approaches their table to say hi to John. They know each other from work or something like that. It's very brief and simply friendsly, but some reason that he doesn't understand, Bane gets uncomfortable. He doesn't let it show so John doesn't have a clue, but Bane doesn't like the thought of Blake being close to other men. And he doesn't get exactly why. He's kind of unnerved.

It was one of their usual dinner nights. 

Bane had invited John out this time, to one of their favorite restaurants where their unspoken rule was to try something new each time so they could share. It was the usual night out, Bane had gotten home, showered and changed into some of the nicer clothes he had begun accumulating because he felt so sloppy and drab when out with John. They met up in front and after a bit of chat, they went inside and got what was becoming their usual table. 

They had sat down and hadn’t even ordered wine for the table yet when they both heard,

“John?”

Bane looked up first, seeing his companion looking up from the wine list as they both looked over to see another young man. He looked fit and well groomed as well, dark hair he had slicked back though it seem to be coming undone.

“Dick, hi.”

“Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“It’s one of my favorite places.”

Dick laugh slightly and he said,

“Sorry to interrupt, I see you have company. I’m Dick Greyson by the way.”

He extended his hand out to Bane and Bane accepted it, shaking his hand firmly. 

“Nice to meet you.”

Dick gave a smile and Bane returned it though he felt it was forced on his part. Dick then said one or two more things to John, again apologizing for interrupting and then left, saying bye to the both of them.

Bane felt odd after Dick left. His mind kept rattling questions off; who was that? How do you know him? Do you guys talk often? But he said nothing.

John smiled a bit and looked at Bane, seeing he was curious.

“That was Dick. He’s one of the executives in my office. Not very high up though, he’s a nice guy.”

“Oh you’re both friendly.”

“Yeah, we have coffee sometimes. Dick is a bit flighty when it comes to work.”

He laughed to himself and Bane tried to chuckle a bit but he was still…off. 

They continued the rest of dinner without interruption. They talked like they always did, catching up on their days but Bane found himself trying to keep his usual, calm facade and the strange, niggling frustration in the back of his head. He wasn’t sure why Dick approaching their table, talking to John, being friendly and comfortable to him got into his head so much.

Bane knew how to read people, it was part of his job after all. He knew Dick had no interest in John…that way. Their conversation was even brief and Dick didn’t even make a gesture to touch John, though he was close enough to do so. Why was it getting to him? Why did it even matter? In Bane’s mind, the thoughts kept circling and during the quiet moments of their meal, he would look at John and wonder who else he knew. Who else was getting close to, being friendly with. It was none of Bane’s business, he knew that. John had never disclosed if he was seeing anyone or interested in anyone and Bane suspected that John wouldn’t say anything of the sort since he didn’t want to frighten Bane away. But now Bane desperately wanted to know and he didn’t know why. 

After dinner, Bane paid the bill and they both stepped outside. He put his hat on as John pulled up the collar of his jacket, the chill of the wind cutting against them. For a moment, Bane wondered if they should call it a night when John suddenly asked,

“You alright? You seem a little distant tonight.”

“Am I? Guess my head is still at work.”

“Big case?”

“Nah, nothing like that. Just trying to think if I got all my paperwork squared away.”

“Oh good.”

John sighed in relief and Bane felt bad for making him worry. He knew John was a little sensitive to Bane’s shift in moods, always worried he’d offend him somehow and it always made Bane feel a little guilty. John then checked his watch and then back up at Bane.

“Should we call it a night?”

“If you’d like.”

“Don’t you have an early shift tomorrow?”

“I don’t. I work nights tomorrow.”

“Then feel like a drink?”

“Yeah, I’d love that.”

John smiled. 

Bane knew he shouldn’t have stayed out any longer with John. He was confused and had a low simmer of anger just beneath the surface but he wasn’t even sure why. He was distracted and worried he’d say something wrong and blurt out one of his questions and make John just as confused as he felt. But he didn’t want to give up his time with John, so they went for a drink after dinner. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia: can their late night conversation from last prompt continue? I always felt like these conversations make people say things they wouldnt dare to say in broad daylight. Bane wonders out loud what where to happen if John ever falls in love , would he endanger himself and act on it? John counters how would bane know that he isn’t already? And he always wondered how Bane can be so “okay” with his homosexuality now when he abandoned him because of it in the past?

Their conversations carried on for hours. It was always did when the night was good and they weren’t quite ready to part company yet. 

They sat in John’s apartment that night, John knowing drinks could get them carried away and since his slip up, he hasn’t had more than two a night. He already had his drinks with Bane over dinner, so now he was serving them some coffee and dessert. Bane didn’t mind, he never minded spending his time with John over cake and coffee. 

“Tell me about your job.” Bane said, stirring in a spoonful of sugar in his cup.

John smiled as he settled across from him, his own cup of coffee in his hands.

“You always want to know about it. It’s not that interesting.”

“I’m sure it is.”

“You’re the one with the interesting job.”

“You know what that job is really like. You did it for years. Your job I’ve never done. I like to know all the in’s and out’s of it.”

John shook his head, still amused that Bane was so curious.

“I mean…it’s an accounting firm. Just a lot of paper pushing and organization.”

“But you said you like it.”

“I do. It’s comfortable, routine…I know what to expect when I walk in, in the mornings.”

“I’d kill for that.”

John smiled. Bane always said that, but John knew he didn’t mean it. Bane loved being a police officer, he was built for it and would do nothing else.

“I don’t have any interesting stories about the office though.”

“You friendly with a lot of people there?”

“My coworkers. They’re nice. Sometimes, they ask me to tag along for drinks after work.”

“Do you go?”

“Sometimes. If I have the free time, no plans with you, things like that.”

“I’m glad you’re friendly with your coworkers.”

There seem to be more that Bane wanted to say, John could see it. He was holding something back.

“What is it?” 

Bane held the fork he was using for his cake tightly in his hand and he wouldn’t look John in the eye. He just shook his head.

“Nothing. Just thinking nonsense. Stupid things y’know? I can’t help but think how different things are from where they were a couple of years ago. You were so unhappy and I didn’t even know it…didn’t even think to open my eyes and see it. It was such a mess…everything I did. But now things are better and I keep wondering what’s going to happen if you fall in love with someone. What would happen to you, to our friendship. Would you even act on it?”

John was taken aback but the thread of thoughts that flowed out of Bane’s mouth. He had always thought Bane would be uncomfortable discussing such things and he gripped his mug a bit and said,

“I didn’t…I didn’t think you’d ever want to talk about that.”

“It’s concern for you. Would you act on it? It would be dangerous for you. But if you did, what would you do? How could you hide it?”

John sighed a little, feeling defeated for saying what he always thought to just himself.

“I don’t think I have to worry about that any time soon.”

“Why’s that?”

“I just don’t think it will.”

Bane said nothing for a moment before John took a breath and said,

“Anyway, what makes you think I haven’t already fallen in love and I’m just waiting on it?”

Bane looked alarmed then, sitting up straight and John felt uncomfortable for having said that.

“You’re still so uneasy around me. You think I can’t tell, but I can. I never tell you about my life because I know it’d make you uncomfortable. I know that my being gay makes you nervous. I know you’re doing your best to be my friend still but it makes you uncomfortable. You don’t want to hear about who I love or who I want to be with or who I’m dating.”

“I don’t-”

“You don’t have to lie, it’s okay. I always did wonder how you could be okay with my homosexuality now when initially it disgusted you. I understand now you’re just tolerating it.”

“That’s not true. I don’t even think of it. Who you have feelings for is…it’s none of my business. It’s why I don’t ask. It’s not my place to know. Who am I to know about who you’re seeing? You wouldn’t want to know about me if I’m seeing anyone right?”

“I’d care if you were happy or not.”

“I do care if you’re happy. I really do. I’m just not good at showing it.”

John looked at Bane, seeing they were looking at each other finally. Throughout the conversation, Bane was looking away or John was. Now, their eyes met and John felt like they turned a corner. 

“I’m still kicking myself for how I treated you.” Bane said.

John sighed a little, smiling softly.

“It’s all forgiven, really.”

“I won’t forgive myself so easily.”

“I know. But whenever you do decide to forgive yourself, just know I already did.”

They paused and had some cake and coffee and eventually, John said,

“I’m not seeing anyone, you know. No one seems good enough.”

“I don’t think there is anyone good enough for you.” 

John smiled and shyly looked down, taking another forkful of cake as Bane watched him and smiled too. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s homophobia AU: Bane is wearing a new shirt/changed his hairstyle/whatever, and Blake gives a him a genuine compliment saying that the look really suits him. Bane gets strangely flustered (well, strange for him, not for us who know about his developing crush). John thinks that he made Bane uncomfortable, though, so he quickly apologizes. However, Bane says that he doesn't feel uncomfortable at all and compliments sth about Blake as well.

Bane had never considered himself a stylish, fashionable man. Least of all when he became an officer of the law and lived in his uniform more than the clothes he had. 

However, throughout his friendship with John, he found himself paying attention a little more to the clothes he did eventually wear out. He noted it the first time he and John went out to a play together and John was so put together and stylish that Bane felt sloppy at his side. Everyone else in the play house looked their best too…Bane looked completely out of place and if he just showed up off the street. Since then, he began to take a little more initiative with his wardrobe. 

It was just a new pair of pants here, a new shirt there, taking his cues from what John was wearing and their environment. He didn’t want to stick out any further than he already did due to his size and he would not embarrass John by looking painfully out of place again. He only wore his best stuff when he went out with John, hoping his friend would approve, feeling grateful when the crowds around them didn’t bat an eye. 

One day, John mentioned that he got them tickets to another play and Bane was more than happy to go. He had just gotten a new suit and he was excited to wear it and show John. He didn’t feel awkward in it when he put it on, the jacket and pants tailored made for Bane’s size. It was flattering on him and Bane felt relief when he put it on and it looked exactly how it did in the tailor’s shop. He put on his hat and went to catch a cab and meet John at downtown Gotham. They were meeting an hour or so before the play for drinks and he had readily agreed, knowing he would easily mingle with the crowd and with John. 

At the theater, Bane paid his fare and stepped out, pleased that he looked as if he belonged, other men in equally nice suits and hats and he only had to wait for a moment before he saw John leaving his own cab. He waved to catch his attention and John immediately went over to him, smiling as he got closer.

“Well look at you.”

Bane was alarmed for a moment, thinking maybe he had overdone it. Or worse, he looked foolish. 

“That is a snappy suit. It looks great on you, very flattering!”

For some reason, Bane felt flustered. The tailor had told him the same thing in the shop but hearing it from John, made him feel…different. He cleared his throat, trying to think of something to say. 

From John’s point of view though, he worried he had made Bane uncomfortable. He was perhaps becoming too friendly, too forward and Bane knowing John was gay was making him feel awkward.

“Sorry, I was just saying the suit is a great choice”

He was trying to downplay his compliment but Bane quickly shook his head and said,

“No, I’m okay. I just didn’t know how to accept what you said. I thought saying thank you sounded…off. But, thank you. You always look so great when we go out, I felt like I had to step up my own game.”

John smiled then, feeling relief he hadn’t made Bane feel uncomfortable. 

“What are you going on about?”

“Well, you’re always so put together. I just look like some slob.”

“You don’t.”

“I felt like I did. Now I feel like we’re on par. Well…kind of. You’re still a lot better at this than I am. And you still look one hundred times better.”

John felt blush then, clearing his throat and glancing down a bit.

“Thanks.”

Bane felt better than, glad John approved, glad they passed a hurdle.

“Should we go in for that drink? You can tell me what this play is about.”

John nodded and handed Bane his ticket as they headed inside the theater.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s AU to have some short thing about Bane just reflecting how much John means to him or something like that. Like, realizing that he's always looking forward to see him or having random thoughts about him during the day. I think smth like that would be cool to just give Bane more time (?) to discover his crush before things keep happening and the plot keeps advancing.

He was doing his usual patrol, his schedule still something he was getting use to, working days now more than nights so he could have time to see John. He was driving his patrol car, alone because he had never replaced his partner though he trained a couple of rookies in the years since John left and he parked to get out and get some coffee. 

He made small talk with the locals and then decided to walk a bit, sick of driving in circles and wanting to stretch his legs. As he did, he passed by Gotham’s elite shops and he never paid them any attention before, having done this route a million times in his career, but that day, he found himself in front of a large window display. It was showing off some of the season’s newest finery, well tailored trousers and crisp new shirts with fancy suspenders. Bane sipped his coffee as he admired the mannequin and thought to himself, 

_John would look good in that._

He kept admiring the wears and then started to move again when he realized what he had just thought to himself. He realized that his former partner, his good friend, had been popping up in his thoughts more often lately. He realized it when he drove alone, missing all the late nights and great talks he use to have with John. The dinners they shared, even doing their paperwork together was something he missed. He realized it when he would hang up the phone with John and find himself looking forward to their weekly dinners, excited to be in John’s company again at Gotham’s newest hot spot or just a nice quiet dinner at each other’s place. He realized that he dressed himself better, paying attention to more fashionable choices because of John, because of how he dressed, what he pointed out, what he liked. 

He wasn’t really sure what that meant since it was natural that close friends and former partners would be on each other’s mind. Of course he’d think of John often, he spent many years with him as his beat partner and now they had more years together as best friends. It was normal. 

Bane found himself working on the last of his paperwork that late afternoon, yawning through it as he heard,

“Bane, visitor!”

Bane looked up, confused and wondering who would come see him now. He stood up from his desk and saw it was John and he felt excited, smiling as he saw his former partner coming over to his desk. He was in his suit still, a nice grey color, his jacket in his arms, his hat in his hands. He smiled as he said,

“Still got you at the old desk huh, right under the draft.”

“I don’t mind the draft.”

“Don’t lie, you complained about that draft all that one winter a couple of years back.”

Bane shrugged, a slight smile on his face. 

“What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d convince you to have dinner tonight. I know it’s not our usual night but-”

“Yeah, yeah I’d love to. I’m just about done.”

He gestured to the form on his desk and John nodded.

“I don’t mind the wait. Should I go out to the lobby or-”

“Of course not, stick around.”

John smiled as he took a seat next to Bane’s desk to wait. 

As soon as he finished, Bane told him he’d be right back so he could get out of uniform and headed to the locker room. As he changed quickly, Bane caught himself smiling, excited as if it was their usual night. He was still all lit up from having John come see him so suddenly. It was a pleasant surprise and so was that dinner invitation. As he finished getting dressed, he paused for a moment, wondering to himself why he was so happy. He had seen John hundreds of times, had dinner with him just as many times…it made no sense what was causing him such joy. 

He grabbed his bag and headed out the locker room and as he headed back towards his desk, he stopped when he saw John again, organizing his desk for him, just as he always did. He realized that John had done so many little things throughout their partnership, throughout their friendship that Bane never appreciated until just that second. John always sorted out his paperwork, stacked his files, made sure his forms were in order and ready. He always got them both coffee when they went on break and always reminded Bane when they had to go back on the clock. Their friendship away from the force made John better, he was happier because he no longer had to hide himself as much as he did before but he never made Bane uncomfortable about his lifestyle, though Bane constantly reassured him that he would never be uncomfortable. It wasn’t just hot air either, Bane never saw John as a source of discomfort but rather, the opposite. He never felt more like himself than when he was around John. Losing him for those few years before, he never felt so lost, so alone and so angry with himself. 

He never wanted to lose John again and he’d do whatever he had to, to keep John with him. He reflected on his thoughts, knowing John meant the world to him but he didn’t get too much time to think on it when John finished and turned around to see if Bane was coming and spotted him. Bane snapped out of it and walked over to him and John laughed a little.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…just trying to think if I remembered everything.”

“I’m sure you’re fine.”

Bane nodded, getting his jacket on, hating it wasn’t his good one but he hadn’t planned on seeing John tonight. He found himself smoothing out the sleeve and John stopped him as he said,

“It’s fine. We’re just going to the diner around the corner.”

“I haven’t been there in years.”

“Yeah? We use to go for dinner all the time.”

“I stopped going after we stopped being partners.”

John smiled warmly at him and Bane realized it was true. He hadn’t been there in years for that very reason. 

“Then it’ll be nice to go back.”

Bane agreed.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s AU: can we see more of Banes thoughts when they go to the diner they were talking about last prompt? Really liked the idea of him exploring his thoughts on John and discovering his feelings slowly.

Walking through the diner doors was like stepping back in time. Bane stopped himself from looking down at himself to make sure he wasn’t in uniform because usually, he and John came there on their breaks or right after their shifts. The waitress who usually tended to him smiled as she saw him and said,

“Well, if it’s not the dynamic duo! Officers Bane and Blake! How are you two?”

Bane shook his head, always feeling embarrassed about being called a dynamic duo with John. But John smiled and said,

“Just Blake now, Steph. I’m a private citizen.”

“Oh wow. It has been a long time. How about you, is it still officer?”

Bane nodded.

“Still officer.”

“Well at least that didn’t change. You two want your usual booth?”

“Sure, thanks Steph.” Said Bane.

She nodded and walked him over to the aforementioned booth and Bane and John took their seats across from each other. Steph then held her notepad out to take their orders.

“What can I get you both?”

“Burger, fries and a coke for me.” Bane answered.

“Me too.”

She nodded, taking the order and then leaving to get it. Once alone again, John smiled, settling his hands on the table top and said,

“I can’t believe it’s been so long since we came here.”

“Yeah…been a while.”

“This place has the best burgers too.”

Bane agreed, nodding as he looked at John. He could see him better now under the bright diner lights and he saw his neatly combed hair, his tie still in place. 

“You just got off work huh?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to head home just yet. It wasn’t a long day but it was a boring one. I needed something to look forward to.”

“I was looking forward to this since you came to my desk.”

John laughed a little and Bane found himself delighted that John felt the same way about their dinner. It was nice that it wasn’t just him and it wasn’t just him reading too much into a dinner. 

“How was your day? Other than boring I mean.” Asked Bane.

John smiled and talked about his work day, the usual workload, the repetitive nature of it but he didn’t mind it, he said. It was comforting to have a set schedule. Bane nodded, seeing that John was telling the truth, he was happy with his job, he was happy and it made Bane happy too. They changed topics and John mentioned their last theater trip and Bane mentioned how much he enjoyed it and he couldn’t wait for a new play.

“I never thought you’d be a play type of guy.” John teased.

“I never thought so either. But I really like it.”

“I’m so glad. I can say that it’s because of me.”

Bane wanted to say something else, but then Steph came back with their dinner and she set it down and then left and the moment was over. As they ate, Bane found himself admiring John again. He looked away again, wondering what was wrong with him, he knew what John looked like. He had spent several years with him as his partner, why that night was any different, he didn’t understand. 

“You okay? You seem distracted.”

Bane shook his head, picking up a fry after finishing up his burger. 

“I’m okay, still thinking about the desk work.”

“I thought you were almost done?”

“You know me, I’m always just filling in reports as quick as I can to finish.”

“Right and then I’d have to go over them and see what you missed.”

Bane chuckled a bit.

“A bad habit I never broke.”

John shook his head, still smiling.

“The only thing I miss the most about the force is being your partner. Even afterwards, when I was on my own, I hated being there.”

“You stuck around for a while.”

“I thought I loved my work. And I kind of did. I enjoyed helping others, the sense of satisfaction…but it wasn’t the same without you.”

Bane felt comfortable in telling John exactly the same thing.

“I never got another partner after you. Gordon tried giving me but I refused. I ended up training all the rookies so I wouldn’t get someone else.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“It wasn’t the same without you.”

John smiled warmly. 

“I didn’t think it mattered to you.”

“I know. But it did.”

John looked at his plate then and Bane felt a little flustered, wondering why he was easily confessing so much. Eventually, he chalked it up to the nostalgia of being at their old diner, the one place they always went to together.

When they finished, Bane picked up the check and John thanked him.

“It was my idea though, dinner should have been on me.”

“I don’t mind. You’ll get it next time.”

“I was thinking, you want to come to my place? I’ll make us something great.”

“Oh? What were planning on making?”

“Some pot roast and potatoes.”

“That sounds great. I’d love to go to your place.”

John looked relieved and then he laughed softly as he said,

“I don’t know why I felt nervous. You’ve been over for dinner lots of times.”

“I don’t know why either.” Bane nudged him and John laughed again, louder this time, with more emotion and Bane found himself smiling. 

“I should head home.” John then said, looking down at his watch, joy still on his face.

“I’ll keep you company to your building.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I rather. There’s been some break-ins in your neighborhood.”

“There’s always break-ins in my neighborhood.”

“Indulge me, will ya?”

John waved it off and laughed as he agreed to share a cab to his building. On the way there, Bane made peace with himself because he had lied. He had lied about the current break-ins in John’s neighborhood, he just wanted to spend more time with John and had no idea how to go about it. He glanced over at John, seeing him looking out the window and then turned back towards bane. They smiled at each other and as the cab paused at a light, Bane asked,

“Should I bring anything for dinner?”

“No way, I’m making everything. You’re my guest.”

Bane clucked his tongue at him and John nudged him playfully. 

Once at John’s building, Bane felt a little sad that their evening was coming to an end, though he reminded himself that they would have dinner again soon. John thanked him for the company and after saying good night, he got out of the cab and went to his building. After getting the main door open, John turned back to wave to Bane and slowly, the cab pulled away and went back into traffic. Alone in the back of the cab, Bane sighed to himself. 

Where was his head lately? He couldn’t wrap his head around how he was behaving around John lately. He worried then, fearful he would offend John or drive him away somehow. He worried he would do or say something that would make John upset but so far, he and John were great, probably better than they ever had been when they were partners on the force. All he knew was that he would keep doing what he was doing so to not push John away.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s AU: Bane finds himself appreciating Blake's face and thinking he's cute. He's kind of weirded out by his own thoughts, but at the end he supposes his friend IS cute and no it's NOT weird because Blake is, objectively speaking, a HANDSOME MAN, right? Right. Totally trying not to freak out.

The night for their weekly dinner soon arrived and after getting his best clothes on, hoping that it was presentable and not too much for a dinner in, Bane got his hat and went on his way. He only made one stop to buy a bottle of wine, despite John having told him he didn’t have to get anything. 

He made his way to John’s apartment once inside his building and at his door, he knocked and held his breath. He didn’t know why he felt so anxious, so concerned with tonight’s events. He had gone to John’s place a couple of times and John to his. They’ve had dinner together hundreds of times but that night, something felt different. 

He didn’t have too much time to think into it, the door opening and John appearing in his sight. He looked neatly put together and Bane felt relief that he hadn’t over dressed. 

“Right on time. Come on in.”

John smiled and stepped aside to let his friend in and as Bane reached up and took his hat off, he handed John the bottle of wine he brought. John sighed and said,

“You didn’t have to bring anything.”

“You said you were making everything but I doubted you could make that.”

John laughed and closed the door, shaking his head.

“Can I take your hat?”

Bane handed him his hat and then turned towards the rest of the apartment. He could smell the roast cooling off and also noted light floral scent. It wasn’t until he saw the dining room table and saw flowers in a vase. John smiled, walking past him as he said,

“I’ll pop this open.”

“It smells great in here.”

“Thanks. I just hope it tastes as good as it smells.”

Bane followed him into the kitchen, watching him open a drawer and get out a wine opener, popping the cork effortlessly and then getting some wine glasses for them. After he poured some for the both of them, he handed Bane his glass. 

“Need any help?”

“Everything is done, we can sit down.”

Bane nodded and went to the table and took a seat in one of the empty chairs and John was right behind him a moment later. He brought out the roast first, then the side dishes and Bane was impressed. The plates had already been set along side the silverware. Everything looked elegant and fancy and Bane looked at John when he returned with a server and a knife. He began to cut into the roast as Bane said,

“You really went above and beyond.”

John smiled.

“I wouldn’t want you to be let down after going all around Gotham.”

Bane chuckled a little and accepted the serving. 

When John finished serving and then sat down to eat, they shared a toast, to good company and began to eat. Bane appreciated the meal, amazed at how good it was, impressed with his friend’s culinary skills. He told him as much and John shyly looked down.

“Thank you. I got the recipe from an old cookbook I had lying around. I’m relieved it’s good.”

“It’s better than good. This could outdo most of those fancy places we’ve gone to.”

“Now you’re just exaggerating.” 

He waved Bane’s compliments off, smiling and shook his head. Bane smiled a bit, thinking John was so humble, having a hard time accepting his compliments, looking away. It was endearing to him. 

As they ate, they talked. It was the easiest thing with them, now that they gave up having secrets between them. Things flowed naturally, normally and Bane filled him in on all the topics going around the bullpen and how there was a rumor that Bollock had tried to hit on one of the new secretaries and she had shot him down so brutally that it was something of a joke. Bollock denied it of course, but the rumor persisted. John laughed, thinking it was poetic justice and Bane laughed too. He knew what Bollock had done to John and he hated him for it. He was only too happy to tell John about the rumor to see his delight. 

He noticed how John looked when he laughed, dimples appearing, his laugh so delightful and full of joy it made Bane laugh and smile too and he was never one to laugh so much. He realized he only really did when he was around John. When he saw John relaxing again, the smile remained on his face and Bane saw he was just so handsome. 

The thought made Bane tense up a bit and it left him wondering where the hell did that come from? He never had those thoughts before, John was just his friend, just his handsome friend. Bane looked down at his mostly empty plate for a moment and he only snapped out of his thoughts when he heard John ask,

“Want more?”

“Sure. Just a bit though, I’m stuffed to the gills already.”

“Then why are you taking another plate?”

“Because it’s good I told you.”

John only laughed again and shook his head. 

When the serving dish was mostly empty and the bottle of wine was completely empty, bane sighed heavily and said,

“I should head home. It’s already late and it’ll be hard enough getting a cab at this hour.”

“God I didn’t even realize. You have an early shift tomorrow?”

“Yeah. You have to be up early too, I should go before I wear out my welcome.”

“You could never.”

John smiled and got up quickly. He prepared a plate for Bane to take him with him and then walked him to the door, thanking him for coming over.

“Got the nerves out your system?” 

It took John a moment to remember what he meant and once he pieced it together, he shook his head and smiled.

“I was being dumb. There was nothing to be nervous about.”

“I didn’t think there would be.”

He nudged John and made him laugh again. They then said good night to each other and Bane went home. 

As soon as he turned the lights on, Bane sighed and looked around. His apartment seemed so much emptier than normal, less bright. It didn’t have the same warm, home like feeling that John’s did. He didn’t know why, he had never cared before and thought his apartment as just a place to hang his hat when he was done working his beat. But now after spending time with John at his place…he didn’t feel at home in his own place. 

And he didn’t know why.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little-specificity: Bane/Blake 50s AU: A pretty coworker asks Bane out for drinks. He feels flattered and figures there's not a reason not to go. When they are finally in the bar, she's flirting a little too hard. Bane is trying to figure out a way to let her know he's not that much interested without being rude, when he sees John sitting in another table. They exchange glances, they both smile somewhat awkwardly when noticing each other's companions and Bane feels something similar to guilt and wrongness

“Excuse me?”

Bane was on his way out now that his shift was over, when he heard the soft timid little voice coming from somewhere below his eye line. He stopped and turned to look around, then glanced down slightly to see one of the new secretaries from the lobby. She was a tiny, petite little thing, dark hair curled modestly around her face, big wide eyes. She was the one that had shot Bollock down harshly, so he was surprised to see her now so shy. 

“Yeah?”

“Uh…I’m sorry am I keeping you?”

“No, not at all…”

He blanked on her name and she smiled a little before politely filling him in, 

“Alice.”

“Alice, right.”

She stood up straight, some of the timidness coming off her as she asked,

“Would you want to grab a drink? I just finished my shift and I saw you were out the door…”

He didn’t have plans that night. He and John didn’t have dinner plans and he wasn’t actually going to see him until the night after. With no real reason to say no, he said,

“Sure, sounds good.”

Alice smiled again. 

Alice was a nice girl, Bane never heard a bad thing about her and he thought it bold of her to ask him out. Most girls didn’t do things like that, but Bane didn’t mind, it’s not like he would have ever thought to ask anyone out for drinks. They split a cab to a bar Bane knew of and after they grabbed a seat, they ordered some drinks and began to talk. 

It took him a moment to pick up on anything. They chatted about work, Alice talked about the secretary pool and it was all friendly chit-chat. At first. It wasn’t until about half way through his drink that Bane realized that Alice was trying to flirt with him. 

She wasn’t forward, but she wasn’t subtle either and the big, shy friendly eyes that caught Bane’s attention had now narrowed down, seductive and dark. Bane wasn’t sure what to think about that.

Alice wasn’t really his type. She was too small…Bane felt like a mountain beside her and he couldn’t even picture the two of them walking down the street without it looking like some vaudeville act. They also had nothing really in common, not that Bane was looking for anything, but he knew that this was not a friendly drink. He felt kind of naive for thinking it was. 

“So, do you think maybe we could do this again sometime?”

Bane gave her a small, polite smile and said,

“Alice, I’d like to-”

He stopped himself when just past Alice, he saw John. His John sharing a table with someone else. They both caught each other’s attention at the same time and for a moment, it felt awkward. John gave a small wave and Bane nodded in return, trying to feel…guilty?

Why would he feel guilty? He was having a drink with a coworker…the same thing John was probably doing too. It still felt wrong somehow and Bane looked away and back at Alice. He realized she was still waiting on him to continue.

“I’d like to but I wouldn’t even know when. My schedule is all over the place. I’m dead on my feet right now. I’m sorry if I was lousy company.”

“Oh no, no you were great! I should have thought about that, I’m sorry. I can be a little dizzy sometimes.”

“I said yes anyway, it’s not your fault. But thanks for the company. This was a nice pick me up.”

Alice smiled and Bane felt glad he hadn’t offended her or hurt her feelings. Bane paid for the drinks and then helped Alice out of her seat. He helped her get her coat on and walked her out, John and him again catching sight of each other. He didn’t want John to get the wrong idea, so he hailed a cab for Alice and put her in it after saying good night and thanking her again for the company. He made sure not to touch her, just in case.

Once Alice’s cab was gone, Bane decided to get himself home, a walk to clear his mind being what he needed. It was a couple of blocks, but he needed the time. He wasn’t sure why he felt strange that John had seen him with Alice, he wasn’t sure why it would even be wrong for him to go out and have a drink with a pretty coworker. But somehow it did and he felt bad that John had seen it. 

He felt his stomach tying up in knots as he thought about having to face John and explain himself…though he had nothing to explain. It was just a drink and Bane was ready to jump ship half way through it. Why would he even have to explain himself? No logical thought in his head made his stomach unknot and he took a deep breath again when he stopped for a moment, thinking that if he stopped, the thoughts would stop. 

He exhaled as he said to himself,

“It’s fine. It’s fine.”

He wasn’t sure if he believed himself as he kept walking home.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s AU: John noticed Bane‘s slightly confused behavior recently and he also didn’t miss the clumsy compliments and appreciative glances directed at him, he’s an observant person and an ex-cop after all. Feeling bold because of Bane‘s sudden openness towards him, he starts to give some appreciation back and also tries to flirt a little - subtle of course, no need to spook Bane haha - curious, if he can get away with it and slightly thrilled. Bane‘s a little help- and breathless

After their last dinner, John noticed Bane’s slightly ever changing behavior. All these little things he had noticed in his friend; some subtle, some not so subtle. John wasn’t sure what it all meant at first, thinking perhaps he was reading too much into it, a little too hopeful, a little nervous even. Then he started to notice the awkward compliments; about his suit, his new vest, he would notice if he combed his hair differently. It was endearing really and John did his best to pay them back, seeing all the new things about Bane’s clothing, about his behavior. 

Bane was a very stoic, serious man. He had to be in his line of work but with John, he softened greatly. He would smile and laugh and joke around with him and it was what made them both great friends. It’s what made John have budding feelings for his friend but he did his best to keep them back, hide them and remind himself that nothing but a great friendship would ever come of that. It’s what caused his confusion and nerves in the beginning.

As things steadily went along and John began to notice these things, he began to wonder if Bane was holding something back himself. He was curious, especially when there were lingering looks, more appreciative and John began to accept that he wasn’t reading far too much into it. Thinking coherently, using his old instincts that he had honed being a police officer once, he accepted that Bane was holding back, that he was hiding something. 

After months of observing, of thinking about it, of noticing to see if he was right or not, John felt ready to test the waters. He didn’t want to scare Bane away, but he wanted to let him know it was okay. During one of their outings to the theater, John compliments Bane first, telling him he looked wonderful and then stepped a little closer than he had to and adjusted the knot of his tie. He saw Bane tense, but not out of being uncomfortable or disgust, just nerves. He swallowed hard as John smoothed his hand down the front of his tie and stepped back, asking if he was ready to go in. While they watched the play, John rested his hand on Bane’s wrist. He felt Bane tense again and then gradually relaxed as John leaned over and whispered to him a comment on the show. He made it casual and he didn’t look at Bane right away, only turned to look at him as he moved back in his seat. He saw Bane looked flustered and a little shy which was new and John gave his wrist a slight squeeze, as if reminding him to relax. 

Another time as they had dinner at John’s place and John had gone out of his way to make dinner special for the two of them. He even made dessert. When Bane came over, bottle of wine in hand, John thanked him as he always did and welcomed him in. They sat down and talked about their days from work and as John topped off their glasses, he made a comment, giggling to himself.

“It’s like we’re a married couple.”

Bane looked up at him and tried to laugh, but it came off as a nervous chuckle as he said,

“Kind of.”

John just smiled, adoring how bashful Bane got at a comment. 

One afternoon, they met up for lunch, a rarity given Bane’s schedule and they grabbed a quick bite a few blocks away from the station and decided to save time by taking back the subway. They talked on the way back, the train slightly crowded so they stood up near the doors. John lamented about having to go back to work, dreading the workload on his desk. Bane was about to tell him something when the train suddenly jerked to a stop and he reached to the door, stopping himself from falling back but he wasn’t ready for John who was unable to stop himself in time. 

He caught him and John clutched at his arm and stood up straight. He was about to apologize when Bane asked first,

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, just didn’t expect that.”

He smiled at Bane and that smile alone made Bane look down shyly. 

“My hero.” John joked and Bane again gave a nervous laugh.

After that last subtle flirt, John noticed that Bane wasn’t pulling away, he wasn’t repulsed, he wasn’t angry. It was as if he was processing all this new information, all these new options and John was glad. He didn’t want Bane to stop talking to him, to run from him but he also wanted him to know he didn’t have to hold back from him. 

The winter months were coming over them, the weather getting chillier, the days shorter and the nights longer. Bane refused to let John walk back home alone and walked with him to his building, telling him he would catch a cab to his own place. In front of his building, John sighed, putting his hands in his coat pocket as he said,

“Tonight was great.’

“It was. Can I confess something?”

“Sure.”

“These weekly dinners are something I always look forward to.”

John felt himself glowing, smiling brightly as he softly said,

“Me too. I love these nights.”

Bane shifted his weight a bit, as if trying to figure out what to do with himself. John wanted to say something then, to straight out ask Bane what he wanted, what he thought, if he had the same feelings as John did. But he didn’t. Even after giving the hints and being subtle and realizing that Bane was holding back, John still lacked the conviction to take another step. 

But that night, something felt different and John was attempting to pluck up the courage to say something when Bane said,

“I should get going. It’s getting late and I don’t want to keep you out in this cold much longer.”

The moment was over then and John felt some relief. 

“Yeah, same to you. You be careful going home.”

“Aren’t I always?”

“It’s still worth repeating.”

Bane gave him a small smile.

“Good night.”

“Good night.”

John stepped in and as he walked to the elevator and while he waited for it, he turned back to see if Bane had left already, only to see him still watching him, looking out for him. John smiled and waved to him and much to his delight, he saw Bane wave back. When the elevator doors opened and John stepped inside, he saw Bane watching him still and they watched each other until the doors closed.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little-specificity: Bane/Blake 50s AU: After noticing John's behaviour, Bane starts to get bolder himself. Nothing too crazy, just letting his gaze linger a little, complimenting John, inviting him to do stuff. He feels great and tries not to analyze his feelings too much, he's just enjoying what they have going on. - As always, I love your writing and thank you for putting so much effort into this!

Something was happening here, Bane could sense it now, read it a lot more clearly. John was giving him signs, little clues, things that at first, Bane thought he was misreading, misunderstanding, seeing things that weren’t there. 

But now he knew. He knew something was happening and he was a little worried on how to approach it. 

He followed John’s lead because he didn’t know what else to do. He was new at this, at any kind of romance as an adult. As a kid, he had his follies, enough to make him shy away from trying again forever so now as an adult he didn’t know how to approach anyone. With John, he felt it was just as easy as it was complicated. 

It was easy because this was his friend, probably his best friend. His partner whom he had trusted for ages with not only his trust, but with his life. It was easy because he knew John understood him better than anyone in the world, he cared about his well being, about his happiness. He knew his likes and dislikes, he knew how to make Bane happy. It was complicated because Bane himself didn’t know where he stood with his own emotions, he didn’t understand what he was feeling or thinking. He didn’t know what to do and he felt frustrated with himself most times. He was also afraid of what would happen if he got things wrong and things went south. 

At the theater, he took a chance and rested his fingers on top of John’s wrist as he let his arm settle on the arm rest. John didn’t flinch but he was surprised at the weight of Bane’s fingers on his wrist. He only smiled and allowed it, leaning back to show he was relaxed and he smiled. 

While having dinner at his own apartment, Bane served up the only meal he really knew how to make to perfection, which was steak.

“It’s not as fancy as your place, I know.”

“Hey, steak is steak, no matter where you go.”

Bane smiled as he settled in his chair across from John’s, admiring his friend for a moment, seeing him picking up his napkin and settling it on his lap. When he picked up his flatware, he looked up then and saw Bane looking at him. 

“What?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about how much I enjoy your company. I don’t cook for anyone you know.”

“Wow, now I’m really honored. I always thought you at least cooked for yourself.”

They both laughed. 

“You know what I meant.”

With his foot, he reached out and tapped John’s ankle and John laughed a little harder and returned the gesture, the both of them smiling and looking at each other. 

Because John always had something planned, Bane took the initiative one evening and knocked off early to pick him up from the office. He could see John’s coworkers looking at him nervously, wondering why a cop was just hanging around their building, but John didn’t even think of it as he lit up when he saw him. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d surprise you.”

“You did! You’re still in uniform and everything.”

“Well I got a plan. I’d scoop you up, we’d head to my place so I could change and then we’ll go catch a picture.”

John smiled.

“That sounds great. Let’s go.”

Bane was glad his plan worked.

He had spent a wonderful evening with John, the both of them enjoying the movie and having a great talk about it on their way to John’s place via the subway. 

“I’m glad we did this. I wasn’t sure if I was going to do anything but go home and read.”

“I wasn’t looking towards a boring night in, myself. I’m glad you were up for this.”

“Want to come up for a nightcap?”

“Sure.”

Once at John’s stop, they took a brisk walk to John’s apartment and once inside, John poured them a couple of drinks. Bane was doing his best to take all of this in stride. He didn’t know what was happening, but whatever it was, it was going along steadily and it was nice trip. John settled beside him and after a small pause, John held his glass in both hands and said,

“You seem different, but I can’t figure how.”

“Yeah? You really think so?”

“Yeah. But it’s nothing drastic…I think that’s what’s making it so hard to pin down.”

Bane just smiled, relaxing a bit more against John’s couch.

“I think I’m just happier these days.”

“Any reason why?”

Bane shrugged.

“Just…sorting myself out I guess.”

“Well, I’m happy to hear it. You usually have everything in order already.”

“Not my entire life. This is something new.”

“Oh? Anything you wanna talk about?”

“In time. Like I said right now, I’m sorting it out. But I think it’ll get there soon.”

“Can’t wait.” John said with a smile, taking another drink.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s: Bane gets shot on the job - nothing major, but he has to rest for some time at home. John‘s there to take care of him. It takes Bane some time to adjust, because he‘s used to taking care of himself, never to rely on anyone else. But being the center of Johns attention is certainly something he enjoys. Also John is glad for the excuse to touch Bane some more.

The phone call terrified John so much that he remembered his hands shaking and he dropped the phone. When one of his coworkers asked him what was wrong, he remembered saying he had an emergency and he had to go. 

He didn’t remember much else after that, just arriving at the hospital and running to the nurse’s desk and saying his friend had been shot and he had gotten a phone call about it. After explaining who it was and that he was part of Gotham P.D, the nurse took him to Bane’s room.

When he saw Bane, he thought he would break down and cry because he was fine. He was awake and sitting up though his arm was braced against him and in a sling. A nurse was tending to him and once she finished up, she pet his wrist and said,

“I’ll be back in a little while.”

She went on her way, the other nurse who escorted John there also left, letting him know Bane needed to rest and not to linger. As soon as they were gone, John walked over to Bane’s bed and fell to his knees beside him and he started to sob. 

“Hey, hey…what’s wrong? I’m okay. It was just a shoulder wound. Hey…”

Bane wasn’t sure how to comfort him so he reached over to John’s shoulder, petting him softly until John looked up, his face now red and blotchy as he sniffled. He wiped at his face and caught his breath.

“I was so scared! I thought…no one told me anything…I just thought the worse!”

“I’m sorry. They told me I had to contact someone to get a ride home and I don’t have any family…just you.”

John smiled and he didn’t resist taking Bane’s hand as he held it tightly.

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad you had them call me. I just wish they had told me you were okay.”

Bane smiled, feeling touched that John had been so worried about him. He let John hold his good hand and he smiled at him. 

He had to stay in the hospital for a little while to recover and make sure there were no complications but as soon as he was discharged, John took Bane home. He brought him to his apartment and he helped him in though Bane insisted he could make it inside on his own. John wouldn’t hear it and he lead Bane to his bedroom and had him sit down before he knelt down and started to help him take off his shoes.

“John…”

“No, I know you can do it but, just humor me okay? I had a bad scare and now you’re home but you’re by yourself…I can’t stand the idea of you being alone here.”

“I’ll manage. I’m a big boy.”

John laughed and once he finished, he stood up and dusted off his pants. He had again come right from work, so he was still in his suit from the day. Bane smiled at his friend’s thoughtfulness, his urgency to come to his aid. 

“How about your meals? How are you going to make your meals?”

“I still have one good hand.”

John frowned.

“The wound is still so fresh…would you be totally against me sticking around for a bit, giving you a hand?”

“I wouldn’t be totally against it.”

“At least just for a few days! Until you’ve healed up some.”

Bane laughed a little and said,

“Alright. What about your job?”

“I got some time off coming. I want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

Bane didn’t want to argue it, he had argued it the minute John came to pick him up from the hospital and John had insisted that it was more for his own piece of mind. He didn’t want to keep pushing John away when he was so willing to help. 

The care started that very day. John insisted Bane get some rest and he made him get in bed while he made them some lunch. When the food was ready, Bane sat at the table to eat and John made sure he was comfortable doing so. 

He helped Bane back in bed and then gave him his pills for pain before he left for the night.

“Now, you be still. Don’t do anything crazy and if you need help, call me okay?”

“I won’t do anything crazy.”

“I wish you’d let me stay the night.”

“I’m not having you uproot your whole life for this.”

John’s worried face didn’t vanish as he sighed and said,

“I’ll be back first thing in the morning. But if you need anything, anything just call me. Any hour.”

“I will. Go home already, it’s late.”

John frowned and didn’t want to go, but he did.

As promised, early in the morning, John was back at Bane’s apartment. Bane was still half asleep when he answered the door and John felt terrible, urging him back to bed while he made breakfast. He woke Bane when everything was ready and then they sat down to eat. He asked Bane how he felt, how he slept, if anything was off. Bane only smiled, still flattered by how much John cared. 

“You don’t have to mother hen me, I’m fine.”

“You were shot in the shoulder. I don’t call that fine.”

“It was a flesh wound.”

“It’s still a shot!”

Bane shook his head and laughed a bit, realizing there really was no use in arguing. 

John spent the entire day at his place, washing his dishes, doing his laundry, cooking his meals and keeping him company as he made sure he was comfortable and not in any pain. It was towards the end of the day, after Bane had showered and gotten dressed on his own, despite John’s worrying and him sitting by the door in case Bane slipped or something, after three square meals, after the whole day basking in John’s care, Bane watched as John yawned.

“You can head home if you want.”

“No, it’s still so early!”

“You’re going to get tired of taking care of me.”

“It’s only been a day. And by the way, no I wouldn’t. You’re my friend and you need the help. Despite what you think.”

Bane chuckled and rested his good hand on his stomach. 

“Alright, I won’t fight ya.”

“Good.” 

“But you can take off if you want.”

John shook his head.

“It’s early still.”

“I’m sure you’re bored to tears.”

“Nah. I enjoy your company. How about a cup of tea?”

“I don’t have any tea.”

“I bought some when I was out earlier.”

Bane laughed.

“Sure.”

By the time John got back with the tea, Bane pushed himself up to a sitting position. As he did, he felt a twinge from the sudden movement and he made a sound, which made John set the mugs down quickly as he rushed over to him. 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Bane nodded.

“Yeah, guess I moved weird.”

John sighed and he noticed how John’s hands were on him, on his good shoulder, on his chest. John was only focused on Bane and once he was sitting up again, did he only move back. He sighed in relief and then stood up straight to get the tea. When he returned, he didn’t hand it to Bane, he only set it on the table beside him as he took his place back in the chair he had pulled up to sit by Bane’s bed.

“Now, we’re like a married couple.” Bane said suddenly.

John thought for a moment, recalling their past conversation and he smiled.

“Yeah…now we are.”

After a couple of days of John tending to him and helping him out, Bane found that it wasn’t so bad to rely on someone. He had only had himself for practically his entire life and he always assumed that he never needed anyone’s help for anything. John proved to him throughout those days that he could have someone to lean on, to help him and it wasn’t a bad thing. Especially because it was John. 

“Thank you for all this. For hanging out this whole week.”

“I’d like to think you’d do it for me too.”

“Of course I would.”

“See, then you don’t have to thank me.”

Bane only smiled a bit as he and John had their dinner. He wasn’t looking forward to John leaving and them going back to their usual schedules; John no longer being there bright and early, John no longer having all his meals with him. The light would soon leave his apartment and Bane was surprised at how much that was making him feel sad. 

“When I’m better, I’ll have to take you out to properly thank you.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to.”

“Then I can’t wait.”

Bane smiled. 

When dinner was over and the dishes were washed and put on the rack to dry, John dried off his hands and said,

“Well…that’s everything. I guess I’ll get out of your way now.”

“I guess. I’m sure you got a ton of stuff to do.”

John shrugged. Bane wanted to ask John to stay, to hang out a bit more…to not leave him. But he couldn’t. 

“It’s the weekend tomorrow…I can come by in the morning, we can have breakfast.”

“I’d like that.”

John smiled and picked up his coat before putting it on. Bane walked him to the door and as they stood there looking at each other, John asked,

“You sure you’ll be okay? I feel bad leaving you. It’s not like you’re completely healed up.”

“I’ll be fine. You got your own life to get back to.”

John nodded, looking down a bit. 

“Be careful going home.”

“Thanks. Good night.”

“Good night.”

Bane watched John leave. He watched him head to the elevator and press the button and wait for it. He watched him get in and then press the button for the ground floor and when the doors closed, John was gone. 

Bane stepped back into his apartment and closed the door, leaning back against it and looking around his place, once again feeling the emptiness of his home, all the warmth and light that had been there now gone and he knew it was because of John’s absence. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: Bane/Blake 50s AU: John comes back to Bane‘s for breakfast in the morning, just like he promised. Somehow they end up spending the whole weekend together. On Sunday evening, Bane grows anxious and distant. John suspects that Bane dreads being alone again and tries to get him to talk but it doesn’t go too well, Bane is still unsure because of his new fondness for John. John musters up all his courage and tries to resolve this by hugging Bane. It’s a bit awkward, but somehow it helps.

Like a kid during the night before Christmas, Bane found himself unable to rest. He kept thinking of the next morning that awaited him, knowing John would come over and they would have another meal together. 

He never cared so much about sharing meals before, about meals in general. But he found he really liked eating with John. Everything felt a lot more special when he shared that time with John. 

He did eventually fall asleep, but he was awake bright and early the next day. He showered and dressed and just as he finished, he heard a knock on his door and he found himself rushing to answer it. 

“Good morning!”

Bane couldn’t help but smile at John’s bright attitude.

“Good morning.”

“I got us some of the best bagels in Gotham and some orange juice.”

“How’d you know I didn’t have orange juice?”

“I know you well enough.”

Bane chuckled a bit and let John in. 

They had breakfast together, one that they cooked together, making eggs, bacon and coffee so it could go with the bagels John brought. It was a morning filled with laughter and joy and Bane felt so good…and he was slowly starting to figure out why. 

After breakfast, they did the dishes together, Bane washed, John dried. They talked some more about it and when they were done, they decided on another cup of coffee. Then they opted to have another cup of coffee, just to read the morning paper and finish off the bagels.

By the time they finished, John looked at his watch and said,

“Geez it’s almost lunch time.”

Bane glanced at the clock in his kitchen that hung over the doorway and then back at John.

“Might as well have that together too.”

“Why not.” John said with a smile and a shrug.

They went out for lunch, heading to their usual diner. They eat and talked as if they had not seen each other all that morning. They shared laughs and after they finished their food, they ordered dessert and finished that together as well. 

When they finished, they went for a walk and eventually decided to catch a movie.

When the movie was over, it was dinner time and Bane invited John back to his apartment to make him another meal. 

After they ate, John held his glass of wine and watched as Bane cleared the table.

“I took up your whole day.”

“You didn’t take it up. I enjoyed it with you. It’s been a long time since we shared a whole day together.”

“Not since our old beat.”

“Oh those were the days…” John said with a groan.

Bane smiled and sat back at the table with him. 

“They weren’t all bad. You know, work aside. We would do pretty much everything we did today. Just in a squad car.”

John laughed.

“You got me there.”

“Also, we would have a lot more coffee.”

“We did indulge in all the coffee Gotham had to offer.”

“A lot of it was swill.”

“Bleh, the worse! I swear some of those joints just scrounged up garbage water and threw in some milk to even it out.”

Bane laughed as he agreed.

The night soon extended out and John ended up nodding off on Bane’s couch. Bane wouldn’t dare wake him, he left him alone, carefully covering him with a spare blanket and parking himself on the other end, just in case John woke up in the middle of the night.

In was early Sunday morning when John woke up and Bane heard him gasp, which caused him to wake up.

“You okay?”

John nodded, rubbing his eyes.

“I fell asleep. Shit…I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

John yawned again and let the blanket fall from his shoulders as he sat up.

“I should head home…”

“Want some coffee first?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

So they had another breakfast together and Bane couldn’t shake the feeling of how right everything felt. It was natural and easy. 

John eventually had to leave for a shower and change of clothes, but he promised he’d be back for lunch. Bane didn’t even blink when John said he’d be back, he only felt momentarily upset when John said he was leaving. 

Bane took the opportunity to shower and change as well and soon enough, John had returned. They shared the rest of the afternoon together and as the sun began to set, Bane realized that soon, the weekend would be over. John would have to go home, they would both return to their busy schedules, their separate lives. The very idea made Bane feel awful and he unconsciously began to get quiet and withdrawn. 

After they had a very quiet dinner, one that had been completely from the rest of their weekend, John suggested a nightcap back at Bane’s place. Bane only nodded. 

“You okay?”

Bane nodded as he poured himself a drink.

“Yeah.”

“You don’t seem okay. Are you upset with me?”

“Not at all.”

“You’ve been distant since lunch.”

“Have I?”

He took a drink and John sighed a little. He was frustrated but then realized that Bane was working something out. John knew that look, that silence. Bane used to get it when he was working on a case, his mind going in slow and cautious circles to try and work out what was in front of him. So he stopped being frustrated and understood. 

After he finished his drink and it was time for him to go, he saw the anxiety on Bane’s face and he was sure he didn’t even realize it. 

“So…this week, dinner Friday evening?”

Bane nodded.

“If you’re not too busy, we can have lunch one of these days.”

Bane again nodded and John took a breath and gathering up his strength, he put his arms around Bane. It was a bit awkward, Bane being much broader than him, just a tick taller but once John settled his arms the way he wanted, he relaxed and settled against him. 

For a moment, Bane stiffened up, unsure of what John was doing. When he realized it, he slowly let the tension from his body and he slowly brought his arms up to hold John in return. It was nice…and again, it still felt right. 

As John slowly pulled away, he looked at his friend and said,

“I’ll call you this week…see how your schedule is, okay?”

“Okay.”

John smiled at him and eventually pulled away completely. Bane felt him slipping out of his arms and he sighed a little, hating the feeling, hating to say good night to John, hating to see him leave. But eventually, John was out of his embrace and leaving for the night.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little-specificity: Bane/Blake 50s prompt: Bane and John are spending more and more time together, and they are subtly flirting even more than before. One night, they go out and Bane sees another guy eyeing John and gets a little possessive. He's a little bit freaked out about his own reaction, later, but ultimately decides that he doesn't want to overanalyze his relationship with John and just do whatever feels right.

While Bane recuperate from his injury, John spent as much time with him as possible. He came over after work and stayed until late in the evening. On the weekends, he’d come over bright and early and sometimes fall asleep on Bane’s couch as they talked into the night and he’d only leave Sunday afternoon. 

One such evening, John commented,

“I’m going to wear out my welcome.”

Bane stood next to him as they both made dinner, Bane still one handed but feeling a lot better and capable of doing more but John still insisted he take it easy.

“Why would you say that?”

“I’m here all the time…I must drive you crazy with all my mothering.”

“It’s nice actually. No one really ever made such a fuss over me before. Growing up in a home, you toughen up fast.”

“I know what you mean.”

Bane and John smiled at each other. Of course, John would understand, he was an orphan too. He had similar, if not out right the same upbringing. 

“Yeah…you would know.”

Bane nudged him with his good arm and John laughed.

When Bane began to really heal, his arm now removed from the sling and he was left with bandages and a tender feeling in the area where he had been shot, he knew his time with John was going to go back to how it was before. He dread that, as he dread a lot of things that brought John close to him, then pulled him away. 

When John came over that evening, Bane now without his sling answered the door. John smiled and said,

“Well look at that! You’re back to normal!”

“Just about. Still have some pain but overall, I’m better.”

“That’s great. I’m relieved you’re better.”

He flustered for a moment and Bane stepped aside and let him in.

“So…I’m sure you’re tired of being cooped up, you want to have dinner out?”

“Yeah, sounds great.”

“It’s on me though, you’re the injured party.”

Bane just smiled and shook his head.

They headed to their usual diner, neither one of them dressed for a fancy evening out. Bane thought it was great to walk around outside of his apartment, to be outside again and he didn’t even mind that he would be on desk duty for a few weeks when he returned to work. He wasn’t exactly racing to face another spooked burglar. 

They both seem to avoid the subject of John’s continued presence at Bane’s apartment, neither wanting to say the obvious. After they finished their dinner, John asked,

“Feel like a drink?”

“Yeah, let’s stay out a bit longer.”

John smiled.

At a bar, they both a beer and talked, Bane now and then a bit uncomfortable with his still achy shoulder. John would ask if he wanted to head back home and Bane shook his head.

“Not at all. I’m sick of being home.”

“Maybe you should stay at mine then, you know for a change of scenery.”

“I can’t sleep on your couch.”

“Well, then maybe you can sleep somewhere else.”

There was a hint there, a tease and Bane wasn’t sure he heard him correctly until he saw the tiny smile on John’s face. Bane brought the beer bottle to his mouth and nudged him with his knee, making John laugh then. 

When John got up to use the bathroom, Bane stayed at the bar to order them another round. He turned to watch John turn a corner and as he continued to look around, he noticed a stranger watching the area that John had just disappeared to. He felt his entire body tense, hating that someone was watching John. He relaxed for a moment, thinking perhaps he was looking far too much into the stranger’s actions until John returned from the bathroom and the stranger continued watching him. 

It had been interest and Bane was angry. He didn’t like someone watching John, eyeing him like he was trying to figure something out about him. But as John got closer, Bane realized he was overreacting. More over, he was getting protective over someone who was just his friend.

John took his seat right beside Bane again and sighed a bit as he asked,

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah…I’m good.”

John smiled again and Bane relaxed again. He had no claim over John, he had no right to get protective, or angry someone was eyeing him. He had interest in John, he knew that now but he wasn’t sure if John felt the same. He kept circling back that John had friendly concern and care for him, nothing more. But he didn’t want to keep thinking on it and drive himself crazy. Whatever he and John had going on that exact moment, he was going to enjoy it and let it all flow naturally. 

Their new beers arrived and the empty bottles were removed and John picked up his drink. 

“This is still on me.”

Bane just smiled a bit.

“Fine, I won’t argue. But next outing is on me.”

“Deal.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: An idea to continue the Bane/Blake 50s au if you’re feeling like it! Bane is back at work, feeling a bit restless and missing all his time with John, when a report comes in that John’s work place was robbed at gun point and there were shots fired! Bane obviously demands to go and immediately tries to find John. He’s ok but it forces Bane to finally admit (at least to himself) why John means so much to him, and what it would really mean to lose him. And he has to decide what to do about it.

Bane yawned as he sat in his patrol car, waiting for the light to turn. 

He had returned to work recently and he found himself not really missing it as he thought he would have. He had enjoyed his time off and he had enjoyed his time with John. Now he was back at his usual beat and he found it tedious and boring. He usually hated the tedium and boredom but for different reasons; the lack of action for one thing, the waiting. But now he hated it because he rather be anywhere else. 

As he turned the corner once the light turned green, he heard his radio crackling to life. 

He didn’t pay too much attention to it, hearing the code being announced; a robbery and that shots had been fired. When he heard the address, he glanced up at the nearest street signs and saw he was just a few blocks away from there. But then his urgency kicked in when he realized that was where John worked. 

Bane immediately grabbed his radio and announced he was close and he was heading there right then and there. Without hesitation, Bane sped towards John’s place of business.

Gotham’s First National Bank, John was a clerk there who took care of paperwork mostly and wasn’t a teller but nonetheless, Bane feared the worse. It was a mess when he arrived, fortunately, no one had been hurt, the bank of course had been robbed and some of the tellers were shaken, one was hysterical, having been the one that had the gun in her face. As the other officers and her coworkers tried to calm her down, Bane looked around, trying to act as if he was there to do his job but he knew he wasn’t. 

He could have cared less if the bank had been robbed, it happens. He was only so concerned now because John worked there. He had been amidst gun fire and he could have been hurt. When he finally saw him, he was finishing up giving his statement to another cop and Bane felt his heart as if it was going to burst out from his chest. 

He made his way over to him and he resisted pulling John into his arms or checking him for damage. He saw he was a bit flustered, but that was it. 

“John…you’re alright.”

John smiled a little and said,

“I thought you’d be here.”

“I got the call over the radio.”

John nodded.

“I already told Watts what happened, gave him a description of the suspect. Thank God no one was hurt.”

“I heard shots were fired.”

“Yeah into the ceiling, just to scare Marie.”

He pointed to the ceiling where the robber stood in front of the terrified teller, Marie now a bit calm but still shaken.

“But you’re alright.”

“I’m fine. I was behind my desk…he didn’t even see me but I saw him. It’s just…you know, been a while since I heard gunfire. You never really get use to it.”

Bane nodded and John sighed.

“I’m glad you’re safe.”

John smiled.

“I’m glad you came. Now it can save me the trouble of swinging by precinct after work. You want to grab some dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, of course.”

John smiled at him. 

“I should let you do your job, take care of the other witnesses.”

“I’ll be around.”

John nodded and Bane began to do his work. 

He had no passion for it really, he knew Watts had the most important statement, being John’s and the other tellers had been nervous and afraid. When everyone was cleared to go and Bane finally wrapped up his part of the investigation, he began to head back to the precinct to file his paperwork so he could meet John in a timely manner. As he drove back, he kept thinking about John, about how he could have been hurt because some idiot needed to rob a bank. 

John could have been hurt. And he could have been hurt before when he was a cop himself, but it was completely different this time around. He could have been hurt and Bane could have arrived at the scene to see his body wheeled away.

John could have been hurt. He could have been killed and then what would he do? The very thought sat like a stone in Bane’s stomach and he found himself choked up for a moment, terrified of the thought of his friend no longer being around. It had been a real possibility, the robber could have panicked, could have taken hostages, could have just misfired…so many different things could have gone wrong and taken John away from him.

John could have been taken away from him and it mattered more than he ever imagined, more than that of friendship. It hurt his very heart and finally had to admit to himself the very thought he had never explored, that he denied when it popped up, the possibility of something he didn’t want to face. 

He was in love with John. 

But now what? He realized now that he had been in love with John for some time, only he had never sorted through those feelings before. Now he knew it, as a fact, the threat of John being hurt or killed and no longer in Bane’s life forced him to face it. 

He wasn’t even sure what, if anything he could say to John. He didn’t want to scare him off or pressure him. In fact, he wasn’t even sure how John felt about him. Sure, they were friendly and John did like to flirt with him…but he wasn’t even sure if that was flirting. A few subtle touches and some teasing words didn’t really amount to much. What was worse, was that John could reject him and he’d risk ruining their friendship. He had already done that once before and he couldn’t stomach the idea of doing it again. 

John could love someone else…be involved with someone already. He was sure John would tell him if he had a fella, but he wouldn’t bank on it. John was still quiet about that part of his life.

By the time he got back to the station, Bane felt more confused with himself than he ever did before. He actually looked forward to his paperwork, if anything to keep his mind busy. It was just a temporary distraction, he’d have to face John that night and he didn’t know what to do. How was he going to look at his friend, knowing he was in love with him? 

As Bane filled out his reports, filling out all the needed information, he decided that he would rather live with this agony than lose John. He couldn’t risk John rejecting him and their friendship being destroyed, again by his own hand. By the time he finished his work, clocked out and changed his clothes, he settled on the fact that he wouldn’t jeopardize their friendship for his own selfish feelings. 

When his cab stopped at John’s building, he paid the fare and then went inside to his apartment. He knocked and waited, feeling far more at peace with his choice until John opened the door and smiled at him.

“Hey, you’re right on time.”

“Yeah…how are you?”

“I’m good. The day was obviously longer than I expected but seeing you makes up for it.”

Bane smiled a little and watched John pick up his coat and while he put it on, he asked,

“So you feel like Italian tonight?”

“Sure.”

John paused for a moment as he noted Bane’s somewhat distant attitude.

“Are you okay?”

Bane could look at him for a moment, the day’s event playing in his mind and the fear of losing him palpable in his mouth. Previous thoughts aside, he only looked at John and said,

“I love you.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous: With Blake reacting to Bane’s confession! I feel like Blake wouldn’t believe it at first and would get anxious about losing Bane again. So they need to sit down and actually have a proper discussion about their feelings where they both get everything on the table. I’d love a nice hopeful end where they agree to start a relationship, but take it slow so they can really enjoy their time together (but maybe a nice kiss to seal the deal)

Time seem to stop for the both of them. 

Bane couldn’t believe what he said but he didn’t want to take it back.

John couldn’t believe what he heard. 

Feeling awkward and unsure, John chuckled a little and said,

“Yeah, right, me too buddy.”

Bane released the tension in his body, almost relieved that John wasn’t taking him seriously, though he was also hurt that he was dismissed so easily. 

“Come on, let’s go to dinner.”

Throughout the meal, they hardly talked. They both knew Bane had been serious, but John was too afraid to face it, Bane too afraid to go forward though he knew he could never go back now. They made shy, awkward eye contact across the table and meger small talk. It felt off and Bane began to regret ever saying anything.

It felt like that first night. That very first time John confessed he was gay and Bane was repulsed by him. John was terrified that this was somehow his fault, that he had done something wrong, that he would say something wrong if he broached the subject. He wasn’t sure what to do or how to act anymore, the rug pulled out from under him. 

Bane on the other hand, was sure this was his rejection. John was trying to figure out how to tell him that Bane was not his type, they were friends and always had been. He beat himself up throughout the meal and wondered how he could have ever said anything after he told himself not to say a word. 

After they finished and John picked up the check, they left the restaurant and walked aimlessly for a few minutes before Bane took a deep breath and said,

“I think we should talk.”

John nodded, relieved that Bane had said it first.

“We can go back to my place, I’m closer.” John said.

Bane nodded.

Once back at John’s place, John served them both drinks and then sat by him at his dining room table. He looked at the glass, grateful he had something in his hands, grateful that he had something to look at and something to do now and then. 

Bane took a healthy drink, draining half his glass before he spoke.

“I meant what I said. At your door earlier this evening.”

John looked up at him and saw how Bane’s eyes wouldn’t look at John. 

“How could you be sure?” 

He was always sure Bane would never feel the same way about him. Bane was a man’s man. Tough, strong, quiet and serious. He was a policeman and a frightful figure to come up against. John was smaller, thinner, serious in his own right but he wasn’t striking fear in criminals the way Bane did. He was sure that Bane did not feel the same way about him and hearing Bane suddenly say the opposite, threw John into turmoil.

“I’ve probably felt this way for a long time. For ages. I just couldn’t put a finger on it. I didn’t know how to deal with myself, with my thoughts. It’s probably why I reacted so badly to you telling me…you know. Because you figured yourself out and I was still in the dark.”

“But what makes you sure?”

“When I got that call that your bank had been robbed, I was petrified that you had been hurt. It was more then friendly concern. I couldn’t stand the thought of you not being around anymore. I couldn’t think of you not being in my life anymore. And what was worse…I couldn’t stomach the idea of having all this regret. I had to tell you.”

“Bane…you don’t…you couldn’t possibly.”

“It’s alright if you don’t feel the same way. I understand. I know I’m not your type.”

John was again thrown as he sat up straight and said,

“That’s not it at all. I just don’t want you to say something you’ll regret later.”

“I would regret not saying anything. I just didn’t want to blurt it out to you at your door either. I kept thinking I shouldn’t say anything.”

“Because you think I don’t feel the same way.”

Bane finally looked at him then, his eyes fearful, but he wouldn’t look away again.

“I do. I feel the same way. Bane, I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been since we first met. I just kept those feelings to myself because I didn’t want you to hate me. I didn’t want to make things awkward again.”

Bane said nothing for a moment, just slowly put his hand over John’s. 

“I can’t tell you how much I regret that…but I don’t want to regret things anymore. I don’t want to hold myself in anymore. I can’t risk losing you again. I love you, John.”

John let out a breathy laugh and he looked down. His entire face was lit up and he turned his hand to better grasp Bane’s. 

“What do we do now?” He finally asked.

Bane shrugged. 

“I have no idea. I want to be with you. Even if only inside these four walls, I want to be with you. I want to wake up with you, I want to come home to you, I want to have dinner with you every night, not just some nights.”

“I want that too.”

“So…where do we start?”

“We did already. We took the first step.”

“What’s the second step then?”

“We’ll take it slow. I don’t want to scare you off.”

“You never could.”

John smiled as he got up from his seat and brought his hands to cup Bane’s face before he kissed him slowly. 

Bane was stunned for a moment, unsure of what John was going to do and now that he was kissing him, he was surprised it was happening. Eventually, he kissed him back and he knew that he was walking into this blind, that John would guide him every step of the way.


End file.
